A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:I met this guy a few months ago and I'm so crazy in love with him. I thought it was a crush and that it would disappear after some time but it didn't. He has a lovely personality and he dances really nicely. The thing is, we haven't talked much so I'm not sure if he likes me or not. Sometimes when we do talk, he holds eye contact with a cute smile for what seems like ages until I can't take it anymore and have to look away. He has very kind, beautiful eyes and when we do talk, he stares straight into my eyes which almost makes me melt! Ive noticed that he's really nice to everyone, it's in his nature. But I feel something different when he interacts with me. Maybe he's just being nice?I've even noticed him trying not to look in my direction on purpose sometimes. Some people say he's gay because he dances so well but I'm just not getting that vibe from him. Is it possible that he feels what I feel about him or that he likes me too? I can't tell if he's gay or not and that's another thing i'm a bit puzzled about. If he is, I'm gonna be so disappointed.
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2022): You've gone from a crush to infatuation, and from infatuation to idolization. Don't worship or set people up on a pedestal; that station is reserved for a deity, that Deity being God only! Slow your role, my dear, he's just a cute guy; and you hardly talk to him, so you can't have such strong feelings based on looking into his kind eyes. Your feelings are all based primarily on his appearance. If he is as handsome as you say, he gets your reaction from people a lot; so he isn't sure who really likes him, or just how he looks. Or, he just might be full of himself!
I'll take your age into account, and confess we've all been there and done what you're doing when we met that dreamboat of a person who just seemed so heavenly.
You do realize being handsome and a good dancer is only stereotyping a guy as gay. That rumor was put-out by homely-looking ignorant homophobes who can't dance. That's a joke, it's okay to laugh! BTW, you don't have to have a girlfriend to prove you're straight. You could fake-it, have a beard, and be in the closet. You could have just broken-up with someone, and you're not ready to just jump back into another relationship.
Judge by whatever approach you get. He hasn't asked for your number, he has not befriended you on his social media accounts, he hasn't directly flirted with you; all he does is smiles at you. I would start to check my feelings before getting all googly-eyed and swoony over someone who just smiles at me. It could be because he has a girlfriend; but hasn't told you, because you don't talk that much. He is nice to everybody, so why should you be any exception? Sometimes a guy likes being single, and doesn't want a girlfriend; until he meets one that actually stirs his heart. It's easy to get girls swooning over you when you're good-looking. It's harder to get someone who actually cares for you for who you are, instead of how you look.
The only way you will know if he likes you, or how he likes you, is if and when he makes a move to confirm it. He hasn't, so just assume he's a friendly-person; and his sexual-orientation doesn't have to get called into question, because he isn't interested in you in particular. If everybody just stares and smiles, you cannot conclude there's anything actually happening except you run into each-other and grin in each-other's faces.
He has made no move, you've made no move; so walkaway and call it a draw. If he's interested, he's had opportunity; but it's not necessarily shyness, he probably thinks you're just another girl who thinks he's hot. Strike-up some conversation, and try to hold his attention. If nothing comes of it, then don't vindictively label him gay; just to save face, or soothe your bruised ego. A guy has as much right not to want to date you, as you have to reject him; and looks or being gay aren't always the reasons.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2022): "Right now you are building him into a fictional character in your head." Truer words were never said. You are fantasizing and teh faster you learn to distinguish between a crush and a real thing, the better.
Crushes are great! They are if you KNOW what they are and don't expect too much. They can inspire you! But, when you start living your life as ig they were something serious, that's where the problems start.
I've seen so many girls and women break their own hearts so many times and more importantly LEARNING NOTHING!
Please learn this now. Don't go crazy for someone like that in your 30's or god forbid 40's!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2022): I’m sorry, but you can’t be in love with someone you’ve barely spoken with. You’re in lust and you’ve built up an image of who he is and how he is in your mind. It’s fantasizing. I’d suggest you ask him to grab coffee or something and get to actually know each other. It can be scary to ask, but either way, you’ll get your answer!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (1 July 2022):
 "The thing is, we haven't talked much so I'm not sure if he likes me or not. "
So it's NOT love you feel.
It's attraction, infatuation, lust, curiosity, and, interest. In short, you have a crush.
TALK to him, get to know him. You will quickly find out if he is interested in getting to know you (and, no I don't mean sex) or if he just finds you interesting or curious or... if he is looking at you because you are OOGLING him.
Right now you are building him into a fictional character in your head. He might not be at all how you think. You won't know unless you talk to him. You can start out small by saying hi and introducing yourself. Or compliment him on his dancing skills. (which by the way isn't an indicator of whether someone is gay, straight or bi).
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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