A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have an amazing boyfriend but for the past few days i have switched off. I find the need to be alone and dont like him intruding. We live in the same hostel so its hard to avoid not meeting him all the time. He wants to spend every waking and sleeping minute with me. I am also a very quiet person and he talks a lot. I cant make him shut up for a minute. I feel like i am drifting apart but for him. he is putting in lot of effort to keep us together. He takes care of me and does everything right. I still feel annoyed and resent everything he does. Whats happening to me. Why am I behaving like this. I dont want to lose him. But I dont seem to be improving at all. Today when he kissed me good night I winced. Believe that!!! help please... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 January 2010): thankyou all. I did try talking to him and he doesnt understand why I would want alone time unless I dont like being with him now and I am just looking for excuse. I dont know how to explain this to him. He just doesnt seem to get it
A
female
reader, mss anonymous  +, writes (8 January 2010):
I am the exact same way and the same thing happened to me and my boyfriend. I need me time a few hours throughout the week. Watching a movie, laying around reading, just being by myself! And your boyfriend may take it as you don't want him around but you have to make it clear to him that you love him but you are the type of person that need me time sometimes.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch
Try letting your boyfriend read the above article.
You are an introvert and he is an extrovert.
What that means is not that you are shy or can't do public speaking or parties, it just means that being around people,any people drains your energy.
You recharge yourself by having alone time.
He on the other hand needs to be around people to get energy and he doesn't much like being alone.
It is OK to be different, but knowing this about yourself, you have to be the one to schedule or ask for the time by yourself.
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A
female
reader, Basschick  +, writes (8 January 2010):
 Everyone needs a little ME time. Set some boundaries. Tell your loving b/f that you need one night a week (or one hour a day, whatever suits you) to spend doing something alone. And then pick a quiet place and your desired indulgence; could be browsing through your favorite antique store, curling up with a good book, doing yoga, or music. It may help him also expand his horizons and he may enjoy a little time to himself as well. Sometimes too much of a good thing can go sour.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Hey,
I think that there's nothing wrong with you, it seems like he's rather clingy, and you're probably finding yourself needing some space. What you need is just some time to yourself, and to show him that you need time like that. There are a lot of ways of going about that without being harsh, and if you guys are close, you should be able to tell him that you need some time alone every now and then.
Peace
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2010): Maybe you just don't have feelings for him anymore. Sometimes it's hard to really know how you're feeling, especially when you've been with them for a while. But wincing after a kiss is not a normal thing for a couple.
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