A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi! I've been friends with this guy at college for about 2 years now, and then about 7 months ago I started having feelings for him. Last June we were both at a party, got drunk, and snogged, but the next day it was like nothing had happened. Same thing 2 weeks later. It wasn't that we pretended like it hadn't happened; that's hard to do when all our mates were giving us greif, but we didn't speak to each other about it for months, and then only in a joking way. Then the November after that I realised I really, really liked him. It started of as he makes me smile, progressed into infatuation, and now I think I love him. However I would never EVER tell him this as he has a long-term girlfriend who lives in Turkey. They've been going out since before I knew him, and he spends one month over there ever year. I'm not a complete cow, and would just like to point out I only found out he had a girlfriend AFTER we kissed last year. Anyway, he really seems to love her, and he's a decent guy who would never cheat on someone.We're really good mates, and chat on MSN until 2 in the morning sometimes. In one of these conversations a few weeks ago, he said he would have kissed me last June even if he'd been sober. He also asked me that if he didn't have a girlfriend and asked me out right now, would I say yes? I admitted I would, but since then we haven't spoken about anything to do with it! I asked my friend, and she said it was probably just harmless flirting.I just want to know your opinions. Am I in the wrong here for having feelings for him even though he has a girlfriend? Does what he said mean he really likes me? Please don't get the wrong idea, he's a really decent person who cares about everyone, but sometimes I feel like he's oblivious to my feelings, and others it's like he feels the same way. I'm really confused :S
View related questions:
drunk, flirt, has a girlfriend, msn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, supermum +, writes (14 June 2008):
 you cant help your feelings, but be careful what you do with them... you dont want to end up alone and hurt
god luck
A
male
reader, PeterPan  +, writes (14 June 2008):
 I can see this easily being confusing... I mean, you know he's got a girlfriend, but is flirting with you online. I would suggest having a straight conversation with him and trying to see what's going on -- you know, be direct and get the straight scoop on it. You will probably just end up being very close friends rather than dating (assuming he really is dedicated to his girlfriend). At the same time, it's a little cruel to be leading you on... but you also need to see you're leading yourself on a little here too: falling for a guy that's not obtainable or unavailable. That said, I still think you two should (privately) sort this out.
Good luck... after all, there is a possibility that he and his girlfriend aren't getting on these days...
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): Firstly..No its not wrong to have feelings for this guy...its normal to go through life being attracted to many different people.You are only young so please dont beat yourself up about this.
This guy is in a long distance relationship so no doubt he cares for his girlfriend but because of the distance it makes it easier for him to be involved with someone else.It sounds like he does like you but remember he could just like an ego boost as his GF isnt with him and you are.Im not saying he is definantly using you but just becareful. Get out and meet single guys.You're young and have your whole life ahead dont pin all hopes for this 1 guy..trust me..i have been there.
Good luck hun
x
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2008): No, you are not wrong to like this guy, if you mess around with him and he still has a girlfriend, then yes it is wrong, If you like him, then that is all on you, your feelings and your feelings only.
...............................
|
