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female
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anonymous
writes: Please help, Im scared.... I have never been so in love with anyone and have truley Lucked out in finding my guy...Except Im due to be married in 7 months and My fiance is basicallly unsure about next week.... I have had an issue with Trust regarding him ever since an "incident" involving another woman, alcohol and lying occured. I don't think he cheated on me but Im not sure what his intentions were. Ever since then I have been sure that hes not happy with me...Very sad., borderline needy....while he has been growing more restless of me acting like this and Starting to pull away. The more he does that the more I need him to show more Love... But now hes doubting me because I keep wanting to "talk" and keep acting Untrusting, crying etc...Yes, I have looked through his phone... and Yes he has NOT told me about "girls" that have called... He also doesnt talk about our future...Which makes me cry constantly... I mean we have a wedding half planned and I dont know wheter to continue.... I bring that up and he says that Im acting like its an Ultimatium..I don't know who is worse, Im pretty sure he wont cheat but I think he needs to respect me more and prove he def. wouldn't!!! Now things are so shaky...Please help... Am I being unreasonable towards him or naive in general?
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female
reader, rn_bound04 +, writes (10 November 2005):
I think that if nothing happened with this incident and you and your fiance talked about it and resolved things, then you should let it go. I know thats easier said than done, but that's what it will take for him to lighten up and start showing you the affection that you need and deserve as his future wife.
If these "girls" calling his phone are kept secret from you, then you should ask him about it. But you can't do that without letting him know that you were snooping around in his phone. Maybe this is an arguement that needs to happen. You guys really need to sit down and talk. But he has to be willing to do that. Don't be so pushy. And when you finally get him to agree to the "talk", don't start out with accusations, or accusing questions. Be firm and stick to your gut instinct, but be fair, and hear him out, otherwise he will shut down tighter than a clam. That's the way men are sometimes. Just give this time. And if you have to push this wedding back some, so be it. You don't want to jump into something so serious with these kind of doubts. I wish you the very best and I hope this helps you!
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