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Am I wrong for wanting sex twice a week?

Tagged as: Gay relationships, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2016)
A female Canada age 30-35, *ishSheWantedMe writes:

Dear Cupid:

I'm a lesbian and been with my lady for almost 2 years. At first the sex was amazing. NOW it never happens and she thinks there are times it has and it hasn't. I would remember. I CHERISH it so much when it does. She used to initiate and keep me well satisfied. Now I am lucky if she does it once a month. I WANT And need intimacy so bad. I get so unhappy and depressed when she turns down or ignored my advances. She has even ciunyountless times told me my desires are invalid or too nucg

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A female reader, PhiliGirl South Africa +, writes (10 November 2016):

PhiliGirl agony auntHmmmmmm. She used to initiate it, now she doesn't? She remembers times that it happened when it didn't? These put up red flags for me. Im not sure how your relationship has been however if that was my man, i would expect something happening on the side lines. Ether that or this is her way of telling you she is over it.

I would have to say talk to her, if you love her and she loves you, you both deserve a chance to try change. Not because you have to, but because you both love each other enough to want to. Try compromising. That's what a relationship is all about.

Good Luck :)

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (9 November 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntAm afraid to say that this might actually be the end for the two off you. Yes you may love each other, but you want different things. It could be many reasons why she does not want sex other than she really does not need it in a relationship as much as you. Bottom line is you are feeling neglected and that is not okay in a relationship. You need to either accept that this is who she is and live with it, or tell yourself you need more and end it.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (9 November 2016):

Honeypie agony auntSo now you know, you two are sexually incompatible.

If sex IS important to you, she might not be the right partner for you. And the fact that she feels YOUR needs/desires are invalid kind of sets the tone for the relationship (besides the sex).

How is the relationship BESIDES the sex? Is it good or is she as dismissive of you in those aspects? Because if she is maybe the relationship has run it's course.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2016):

NO, there is NOTHING wrong with wanting sex twice a week. I would have it every day if I could!

Looks like you two are sexually incompatible.

Yes, sex is always strong out of the starting gate and tends to settle as time goes on but never to the point where a partner is feeling ignored and unfulfilled. That is where the problem begins.

Why should you be the one to suffer because she cannot meet your needs?

Eventually this will drive a wedge to the point where you will be looking elsewhere.

Is that what she wants?

You have communicated your needs to her. She is aware. And instead of trying to meet you halfway - how about once a week? - she dismisses your needs as unimportant and invalid. Talk about insult to injury.

You must decide if this is a deal breaker.

Can you live this way?

I couldn't.

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