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age
26-29,
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writes: My ex asks me every single day whether I am on my period yet. He butters me up before he does it, asks me how I am, calls me beautiful, says he wishes we were still happy together before he pops the question. Its either:"Are you on yet?""Are you getting the sensations?""You wouldn't keep it would you? I'm so scared youre pregnant""Will you take a pregnancy test?""Do you feel like youre due on?""Youre late on""When was the date of your last period?"This is every single day he asks me over text messages. We get into an argument every time because I feel like these questions are too personal, but he says I'm over reacting and that he has the right to know whether I'm pregnant. Then for the rest of the day he will talk to me nicely and then apologise for the personal question saying he just needs reassurance which I give him, I'm not right financially to start a family and he knows I want to put my career first. Yet despite the reassurance and how angry I get every time he asks, he still continues to ask me every day. Then throws in the "Oh I'm being so nice to you and youre being a d**k towards me" when I flip out.It just angers me because I remember once upon a time when he said he would be delighted to find out that I was pregnant to him. Now he thinks so little of me that the thought of it disgusts him. His best friend's gf is pregnant (he fancies her) and he is all over them, congratulating them, saying how happy he is for them, liking all her scan photos on facebook. Yet all I get is "Are you on yet I'm scared". Now and again he will randomly say "I still love you" and asks us to meet up but can he really love me when he's being so vulgar? Am I doing right trying to distance myself from him?
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for responding, your advice is much appreciated! I know I shouldn't have blown up at him or got involved with an argument. It was the fact that there was no reassuring him. No matter how many times I told him I would let him know whether I was pregnant or not, he still asked every day and it was this that infuriated me - the fact that he didn't trust that I would let him know. It was also the fact that he wouldn't take responsibility for his actions. I told him we shouldn't be having unprotected sex and also that I didn't want I as we weren't even together. He told me he would be super careful, only afterwards did he panic and i felt blamed for his panic when he was also responsible.
This is such a trivial issue but I just wanted an unbiased opinion, thank you :)
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reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 February 2016):
 I think all this drama is totally unnnecessary and if you indulge in it, both of you must get something out of it ( attention ? passive aggressive revenge ? )
There's a very simple , efficient way to deal with this and it is :
- if your period is late , take a pregnancy test ! and let him know the result. This is not strictly " personal " , if there is a baby , it is half his half yours, so he has the right of asking infos. Whether you are still dating or not.
- If your period is not due yet, just tell him : my period is not due for another week or so. In 2 weeks I'll take a pregnancy test and I promise I will let you know the result immediately. Then, end of story. You do not contact him first, and you stop replying to him if he insists.
You simply refuse to discuss the matter until the moment it HAS to be talked about.
As for the thought of your pregnancy scaring him , that makes sense. Not saying that he is a lovely wonderful guy, just that his reaction is normal and predictable .
This would be an unplanned pregnancy, not everybody ( women included! ) would be overjoyed per se at the idea of a new life - which has been conceived by mistake and foolishness.
Plus, you two are broken up, you are EXES - and whomever fault this is, that means you are not very compatible, not suited to each other. Which man would LOVE the idea of being , nilly- willy , tied up forever as coparent to a person he does not want / cannot even date ?
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