A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Heyyy I have a question!Am I wrong for not wanting to watch my 2 older sisters children when they want?I'm 21 years old and all my life I had to help with kids. Between my 2 older sisters they have 9 kids, 1 who's 34 has 4 and the other 1 who's 30 has 5 kids. Now me and my other sister who's 24, (my mom has 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys) always seem to get stuck with 1 of their children one way or another. Me and my sister who's 24 has no kids! But now I'm on summer break, having fun before school starts back, I wanna have fun. So since its summer, my mom has took is ANOTHER 1 of my older sisters kid (the 30 year old one) he's been here for almost a week and to be honest, I want him gone. I know it may sound bad, but I'm just tired of kids. I'm not really a kid young lady, I don't even want kids. Maybe 1 child and I want to be 30 when that happens! And my younger brother is already a pain, he's rude! And to top it all off, my sister who's 30 don't even take care of the child my mom has now (out of 5 kids, she has 2!) My aunt take care of him in a different state, but I'm hearing he's unhappy. He says he want to stay, but I just can't. My sister who's 24 feels the same way! So I told my mom how I felt, she got mad at me saying when I have a kid, I wouldn't want people to treat my child like that!? And I said but their just trying to throw him off on me like he's mine! I just want to have fun, not watch a child all day long, I like to get up and leave as I please. I don't want to stay home because nobody home to watch him. My little brother can go over my dads house sometimes, and my mom works 12 hour so she be sleepy so I know she's not going to have time for another child. I don't know why she's fooling herself! I understand that, that's family! And he want to stay (he's 12 btw) but why should I have to stop once again, and watch yet another child? My sister who's 34 ask me to move with her to help her watch her 4 kids, she got upset when I said NO! So now my mom is a little upset with me. I didn't mean any harm, I was just being truthful... Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (10 July 2012):
 Well that would drive me nuts!
Honestly thouhg, yo uare 21, so, if you want your own peace and quiet, maybe it's time to start looking for a job and a place of your own, that way.. you don't have to be the "build-in" babysitter.
I think your two oldest sisters take grave advantage of your mom, you and your other sister still living at home.
However, as long as you live at home rent and board free, I think you need to help your mom out as best as you can, that doesn't mean your social life should be put totally on hold, you need to find a balance.
Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for answering!
But we told my sister from day 1 to get him from my aunt but she says no! She just want to have kids while other ppl take care of them. Her 1st child we had for 4 years, and we would have still would have had him but his father came and took him away & his brother! Than she had her 3rd child and my aunt took him in because she didn't want him. Than she had her 4 child and we had him for 1 summer than she had her 5th child we always get on and off! She stays in a different city, so she will drop her kids off and leave and won't answer her phone and comes back months at a time or we would have to take them too her. She don't send cash or another. So that's why I still want him to go! Because if I was finish with school my mom won't get him because she couldn't handel it. I feel like they want me to watch their kids while they live theirs just because they had so many kids, so young!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2012): Definitely not wrong, I was totally in the predicament you are now! My sister who has 4 kids my mom raises the 2 youngest, wanted to watch her kids all the time so my mom and her could go out and gamble. I said no and both had an attitude towards me about it and I made it very clear that if that if I wanted that type of responsibility, I would of had kids myself. I didn't think it was fair to me that because she had kids they werr my responsibility when all I wanted to do was just live my youth up. I didn't mind baby sitting once in awhile but I didn't like I was being taken advantage of.
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A
male
reader, no nonsense Aidan  +, writes (10 July 2012):
Your mother is in a difficult position: she wants to help, but needs you to stick around in order that these children can be properly looked after. Unfortunately your mother has made a commitment which relies on your being available, either without thinking about how this will affect you, or with the expectation that you ought to help out. Although to some extent you ought to follow the rules and expectations of the person who’s house you’re living in, it is unfortunate that your mother is expecting so much of you. If she gets angry and thinks that you ought to babysit as part of your responsibility to your family, confronting her again is unlikely to work. Instead, be firm with your sister. Tell her that her children are her responsibility. Explain that she’s expecting too much of you and your mother and that she should make her own childcare arrangements instead of palming them off on you all the time. Why can’t she look after them herself, at least in the evenings? She should try and make her arrangements for as much of the time as possible. Confronting her stands to achieve more than confronting your mother again.
I wish you all the very best.
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