A
female
age
30-35,
*emz_louise
writes:I don't know if it's just me or not but i have been with my boyfriend for nearly 9 months and i found out that he was looking at porn on the interent when we first starting dating and a few times after that, I know its normal but it gets me quite upset because we are so happy together and i dont think he really needs to look at this. I have spoke to him about this and he said it was something stupid and he wouldnt do it again but ive since found things. am i wrong with thinking like this? =-(
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female
reader, gemz_louise +, writes (18 October 2009):
gemz_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionoh my god i havent been on this site in so long !! well a wee update for you all. i had a little girl and she is almost 6 months old and is completley perfect! her name is caitlynn louise.love her to bits! and myself and my boyfriend have been living together for 9 months now and couldnt be happier =-D x
A
female
reader, gemz_louise +, writes (29 September 2008):
gemz_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthis is for Diovan and Waz,thank u so much for your last comments,they mean a lot to me,i shall keep u updated on how i am coping,and about the new arrival,so far my back is aching,too tired for words and running to the toilet every 5 mins,so yeh looking forward to it haha!! thanks again u guys r bill !! xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2008): Poor Louise, thanks for the update.. As we told you, after the shock. mum will be more excited than you.. As Waz has said, you may find yourself asking more questions about how to get mum to back off because she's more excited than you....
But we haven't finished babes, this is just the start. You have to show strength to prove that you are the babies mum. Your mum will want to take over, she will want to make sure she is perfect with the new baby, she will make you feel stupid, cause she has plans to rule the world.. You have to learn to fight... this is YOUR BABY, right or wrong, stupid or clever, rich or poor. This is your baby.. YOU ARE MUMMY.... and you have to stay strong... what you can't teach... baby will have to learn.. But you are mummy, your stomach, your life, your babies well-being.. Your not stupid, but you are young... Don't ever let anyone make you feel inadequate.. Take advice, listen to older folk, read books, take school lessons, but your not stupid,, You also have stories and advice to give..
Please stay in touch, update us on your situation... There are many people that wish you well.. and there are many people in your situation, and frightened to tell, but they watch you, and follow your brilliant progress through life.... You are MUMMY, you have stories to tell, you are young, you have much to learn, you have tons to achieve, this is just the first day of your new life.. Keep telling us what's going on, because there are lots of people wishing you well.. Blessings and good luck.. ;^)
PS: Porn is the least of your problems, but when it becomes a problem again, don't hesitate to tell us. because we have plenty of views;;;
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A
female
reader, gemz_louise +, writes (28 September 2008):
gemz_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all ur comments to those people who were talking sense,not to those who were talking out of their ass!! and ive told my mum im pregnant,she was shocked but shes all excited now and happy !!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 September 2008): Geez it feels like when men post to defend other men they can sometimes be a little harsh on women's sensitivities!
I agree with you, you are right to feel that way! I've had the same problem in my relationship: everything was WONDERFUL, romantic, sex was great, but then I found out he was looking at porn. It broke me. There was really no reason to do it. I told him it hurt me, and I later found out he was still doing it. This time it not only hurt me because he was just looking at porn, but also because he hid it from me and because he *knew* how much it hurts me.
I want to clarify too that I know porn is common and people have been looking at it all over the world. I just have a problem with people doing it in relationships - you should be enough. You just look at him, I'm guessing. It should be NO different - even if he is a guy. Male and female sex drives are not as different as the media makes them out to be. That shouldn't be an excuse for his looking at porn.
If this guy really cares about you, he'll pick you over porn. Sometimes even the best men just make mistakes and deserve another chance, but if he doesn't admit that he hurt you then you might consider looking for another guy. And you might want to upfront tell the new guy that you hate porn - to save yourself any future pain. Good luck - I know it's rough.
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A
female
reader, gemz_louise +, writes (24 September 2008):
gemz_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni understand when you say to tell her straight look mum im pregnant,but to me that just sounds impossible. I REALLY want to tell her to get it ov with so i dont have to deal with this on my own,i havent stopped crying and feel as if i have ruined my life,a good few of my mates have young babies and they say it hasnt ruined their lives and what people say isnt exactally true,that doesnt stop me panicking!! i just dont know when the time is to tell her,i bought a card and have wrote her a short brief letter (she always said if i ever got pregnant to do this and slip it under her bedroom door,dont ask =-S ), but the thing is when do i give her it? my first scan is in 6 weeks or so. thank you everyone you are all great and i appreciate your comments i really do !! x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): Waz is perfectly right. Mum's have tons of dreams for their little girls (you) and a young pregnancy is not one of them. She wanted you to be a scientist, a politician, a doctor, she wanted you to be famous and sort out the world. She may be horrified, she will give you a lecture about disappointing her. But then she will become happy again, she failed to make you famous but she has a grandchild, you've given her another chance at success. Your mummy will be happy about the baby, right after she lectures you and tells you off. Everything will work out just fine.
Don't worry about the porn, most (not all)) men like it... they use it for stress relief, they use it for education on how to please a woman. Your guy is normal. You have been given advice to learn to watch it with him. A woman who is pregnant and will watch porn and will have sex is a very sexy woman as far as sex is concerned. Never, ever feel inadequate or insecure over porn, the women are pictures and video's, just like fairy tales. He can't touch them, they don't love him, they are not real, but you are. It's you he loves, it's you he hugs, and he uses porn just to get some new ideas to love you with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 September 2008): looking at porn is on thing, downloading it and saving the photos is another. Actually some people are very addicted to porm and should seek help with it. My ex was an addict! Wouldnt sleep with me, up till all hours of the morning watching it, and saving 1000s of photots to his computer. He felt there was nothing wrong with it, but Us woman feel differently about it. So as far as your question. not if he is just browsing.
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A
female
reader, gemz_louise +, writes (22 September 2008):
gemz_louise is verified as being by the original poster of the questionme again, well recently i have been vomiting quite a lot and thought nothing of it as a stomach bug has been going about,so went to the doctors and gave a urine sample,rang the nurse today for the results and ive been told that im pregnant. im coming 20 and im so scared about how to tell my mum,my dad died nearly 6 years ago and i feel she will freak out when i tell her,myself and my boyfriend are very happy with eachother. when i found out today that im pregnant i burst out crying,am i too young for this? or should i just forget abou what people might say and work hard at being a good mum and not worry about silly people. any ideas on what way i could let her know? i know she will react badly at the start like be angry,upset confused etc,but will this last? help meeeeee
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A
male
reader, shadycrazy  +, writes (14 September 2008):
The reality is that if he looked at porn before he dated you he will look at porn during and after, you cant fully satisfy him sexually, there is stuff on the internet he would never ask you do and may only be enjoyable for him in fantasy
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2008): The trust & compromise problems this causes usually end up being a bigger problem than the porn itself.
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A
female
reader, loulou28 +, writes (11 September 2008):
hi there try not to panic,i had a problem like this myself and the way i over came it was by saying if he wanted tp watck porn we would do it together,it becomes a problem when he starts to do it on his own in secret,and i can bet you he would find it a turn on to watch it with you.AND CAN BET YOU WILL HAVE VERY GOOD SEX AFTER!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2008): we are all different and we all have different wants and needs, i know it sounds harsh but it is up to you how much of a big deal you want to make over it. It isnt very likely that he is choosing them over you, but if you really feel like the porn is getting in the way of any part of the relationship then you can either learn to live with it or convince him that it is wrong.i really think that it is harmless, infact i dredd the thought that when i find a gf she might tell me to stop masturbating. ahhhhhhhjust a joke.communicate with him before you say or do anything that could upset both of you.
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