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Am I wrong for being curious about what she is doing when she is on this game for up to 8 hours a day?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 March 2012) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 March 2012)
A male United States age 51-59, *eztal writes:

My girlfriend plays World of Warcraft from anywhere from 3 to 8 hours a day.When I walk by her I sometimes stop to look at her "whisper" box to see who she's talking to. She has become increasingly upset at this,telling me I'm annoying and rude and she needs her privacy. We've been dating for over 5 years and never would have thought this would have been such a big deal.The intensity of her shooing me away has made me a little suspicious. Am I wrong for being curious of what she's doing when she is playing for up to a third of the day

Thank you for any responses I may get.

View related questions: world of warcraft

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2012):

I question why anyopne would really want to stay in such a relationship screwed to a game 8 hours a day anyway?????

sounds very dull and boring and unhealthy.

spunky monkey

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony auntI agee that if she's hiding the chat part she's got something going on she does not want you to know about.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntI have played online games for quite a number of years (12 to be exact), but never 8 hours a day, I have kids and a life...

If she is hiding her IM it does sound a little iffy, but she must have brass "balls" if she is flirting with you around. Or she just doesn't care?

I play another online game these days and have many conversations (IM's) with people, though none are sexual or flirty in nature and.. I play with my husband, so he knows my "friends" and I know his.

Talk to her when she is off line.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 March 2012):

You need to tell her how you feel. Personaly i find gamers ignorant sitting there for hours on end ignoring their partners and familys. If you dont sort.it out its only going.to get worse and you will grow resentful. It wud b a shame to throw a 5 year relationship away over a silly game. Good luck x

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A male reader, eddie85 United States +, writes (20 March 2012):

eddie85 agony auntI've been there too. Playing World of Warcraft can be an intense experience, especially when you are doing group adventures. Each person relies upon the skills of another person and if one person is distracted it could result in an entire adventure going down the tubes.

Yes people do form virtual relationships in the game -- both emotional and platonic. It is hard to say which type of relationship your girlfriend is engaging in. Remember that World of Warcraft is indeed a social game and requires other player interactions. There are plenty of women on the game as well.

If you are worried, I'd ask her about her experiences when she is offline. Also, if you are concerned about her playing too much (it is addictive for some) you should express your concern for that as well. I know it took me a while to get over the urge to play when I left the game a few years ago.

You may find this website helpful: www.wowdetox.com. It contains posts from people who have struggled to quit the game.

Please note, that most players can take or leave the game and it is a source of good, clean entertainment, but for others it becomes their lifestyle and primary focus. Hopefully this game doesn't become a problem for your relationship.

Good luck.

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A male reader, Hugh.J United Kingdom +, writes (20 March 2012):

Hugh.J agony auntMy guess is that she is having an emotional affair with someone; perhaps you should investigate more?

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