A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if I should call it rape but I felt so dirty and used after this. We first had sex and then we were laying down in the bed talking. I was laying down on my front and he suddenly climbed on top of me and started kissing me and such, I didn't mind because we've kissed before of course. He was sneaky about it and he did it anal. I've never done anal before and I felt like he was ripping right through me. I said Please stop so many times and tried to nudge him to get him to understand that it hurt and I didn't want this, in the end I gave up and just started crying. He asked me " You crying? why you crying?" I couldnt stop the tears. He seemed so sorry, like he didnt know I was going to react like this. He thought that because I was not a virgin anymore I could take anal but I cant cause I've never liked the idea of it and it felt downright disgusting and it hurt. I've known him for a while and we even dated. He looked so guilty and apologized so many times I ended up forgiving him. I don't want to see him anymore because I feel like we shouldn't have any contact. I don't want to press charges. I cant bring myself to hate him or anything because you could tell he didn't know I was going to react like this and he looked sorry. I don't want no scandal with the police, my parents or the people from church ( we go to the same Youth Group) but I don't know how to deal with this. I don't know if it was the right thing to forgive him, if I should keep on going to the Youth Group ( he's always there), if I should attempt to talk to him or hate him. I don't know what to do? what can I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2010): This was clearly anal rape, even though you were in his bed! He did not ask your permission to do this and he did not stop when you asked him. I am so sorry he did this to you, I know it had to hurt like hell :( I wish there was a way to do it back to him!
You need to talk to someone about this. You could either call a rape crisis line (they are the most experienced and you can stay anonymous) or you can go to a counselor, but don't try to just move on, this was a very traumatic thing for you and you need to process it properly and with guidance so that it doesn't come back to haunt you later in life.
Best wishes and hugs for you.
A
female
reader, M!55 n3w b00ty :) +, writes (3 March 2010):
well..i mean im still a virgin soo i cnt say ive been in ur place but i do kno dat my bff got raped and she said it was horrible...soo she never forgave the guy..nd if u have courage too forgive him then ur an amazing chikk!! cuz i wldnt b able too forgive anyone..but in my opinion i think shld tlk too him not see him but tlk too him see wtt he has too say then u shld decide wtt u wanna do from there..
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