A
female
age
30-35,
*oolkat330
writes:hi everyone,me and my bf have been dating a bit over three months now, and have pretty much spent every day together (we attend the same college). on christmas, he left for a trip to asia. on this day, i also emailed him telling him that i loved him for the first time. i knew he didnt feel the same way, but i got his email today saying just that. that he liked me a lot, but didnt feel the same way "at least, not yet", and didnt want to say it when he didnt mean it.i guess im lucky he didnt lie and say it just because i did, but in all my past relationships, my bf was always the one to say it first, and all within the first 2-3 months of dating. i guess a part of me is worried he never will feel the same way about me, and i will be wasting my time until he figures that out. terribly pessimistic, i know, but i just got that email a few minutes ago and am still hurting a bit.so, im just curious how long it took all of you to say it or have it said to you? how long is too long to wait? i was going to either wait 6 months or more likely, a year, and see if he's said it by then. and if not.. consider leaving because i'm wasting my time. please give me some advice on what to do! thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2010): Give him some more time. Some people develop feelings faster than others. I agree with your timeframe though; if he hasn't said it by 6-12 months, you should part ways. You'll know when you've waited long enough, but definitely don't let it go past the 1 year mark.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2009): im just so worried im wasting my time and he will never feel the same :/ i (stupidly) asked him if he thought he would ever feel that way about me and still waiting a reply (on email as he is overseas)so worried now.. i dont know how im going to act normally knowing i love him and he doesnt love me!
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A
female
reader, metchemimi20 +, writes (30 December 2009):
 Oh no need to leave the relationship! With me personally, My bf said "I love you" around the 2nd month and I wouldn't say it until the 4th because I just wanted to be sure and not rush things so it doesn't turn out horrific! It's alright. You shouldn't get offended by him not feeling that way yet because we do not have remote controls over our emotions. No explanation for anything! No worries everything is perfectly fine :)
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