A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I started dating my current boyfriend when I was 19 (I am now 25). We broke up a few times in between (over childish things). I got engaged and he lived with another girl but neither of those worked out. We're trying another go at as we still love each other. We remained friends throughout the last 6 years and have always talked. He told me when we first started dating that he used to like his neighbor but never tried to be with her because she was his friends sister. He didn't hang out with her while we were together. He moved to AL in 2005 and came back in May of '06. I guess a little while after he came back they became "best friends" and hung out more often. Him and I were talking about getting back together around Sept/Oct 2006. I saw him at a mutual friends wake in Nov and "she" met him there for support. He told me they were just friends...the next day at the memorial she was sitting on his lap, saying I love you and kissing his face but also saying they were just friends. He also started rubbing her leg and I got upset. He told me again that they were just friends and that he wanted to be with me. Am I over exageratting in thinking that maybe he's upset that he never got a chance to be with her or are they just friends? I beleive he loves me but he gets mad at me for asking questions. Is he just mad that I won't leave it alone because there is nothing there or is it something else. I know I'm the jealous type but...Thanks!
View related questions:
broke up, engaged, I love you, jealous, kissing Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI appreaciate everyone's responses. He still continues to get extremely angry when I even mention her name, regardless of what I'm talking about, he just immediately gets mad. He says it's cause he's sick of being accused but I'm not always accusing. He told me that before we were together and even within the last year he has slept in the same bed with her but nothing happened (well except for spooning back before we knew each other) I think that there is just too much going on and this one thing is the just the last straw type thing. The same night she did all that with him, she went home with his friend (not sure if it was to get him jealous or not but most likely) she started dating the friend and is now almost 3 months pregnant (she was only with him for about a little over a month before becoming pregnant & now they broke up but she's still talking to my b/f. I know I shouldn't be concerned about things he did in the past before we even knew each other but it just makes me wonder what else he's not telling me (even though he yells at me telling me there is nothing......)THANKS AGAIN EVERYONE!!!
A
female
reader, Jendorset  +, writes (14 March 2007):
He could have easily had the chance to be with her, by not telling you he wanted to get back together. If he didnt try to get back with you, he could be with her. Your not keeping on, but you need to be straight to the point. Tell him what you saw, and ask him how he exspect you to beleive that they are only friends when she was being so affectionate towards him and he did tell you once that he liked her. Make him choose, you or her. Because after all, you both had the relationship between you first.Shes the one who got in the way. Enless theres more hes not telling you.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 March 2007): I just couldn't hang around and accept this kind of situation. He wants to be with you but had her hanging around him and rubbing his leg and saying I love you. Er, i'm confused. What exactly do you want, what does he want again. His cake and eat it. I would give him an ultimatum and if that didn't sort stuff out i would just walk away from the situation. Enough time has passed for you two to work out whether you should be together or not.
Take care
xx
...............................
A
female
reader, Ask Heather +, writes (13 March 2007):
 It sounds like there`s an awful lot going on here. You and him, him and her; it`s quite possible that you`re not the only one not sure of what`s going on. Is he getting mad at you for asking questions because you won`t let it drop, or because there`s more to it than he`s admitting? There is only ONE way to sort things out (for both of your sakes), and thats to sit down and have a long, CALM talk. I think it would be a good idea if you were to both have an agreement where each of you can ask whatever questions you want/ raise any concerns etc; and that the other must answer honestly. After this "heart to heart" session, if you decide to stay together and try to make a go of it, which I hope you do; then you must both agree that what was raised in that discussion session is now over, and should not be brought up over & over again in the future, as the whole point of it was to clear the air for a fresh start. Kind Regards, Heather.
...............................
A
female
reader, Chin Up +, writes (13 March 2007):
Sometimes, when people feel themselves approaching commitment, they start to think of all the things they will never do again and all the things or people they may have missed out on. In your case, this neighbour. This could be the reason behind your boyfriend becoming close to this neighbour recently. However, his behaviour is not acceptable. He cannot expect you not to get upset about a woman sitting on his lap giving him kisses and saying I love you. If he does not feel this way for her and believes they are just friends, he is deluded, as she quite obviously feels more for him-whether he chooses to see it or not. He needs to decide who he wants and if it's you, he needs to spell this out to his neighbour or back off from her for a bit as it is causing you pain. If he refuses to do either, then I'm afraid he may want to have this neighbour to get it out of his system and then crawl back into your arms once it's over. Don't be his safety net. Be assertive. You deserve better. Good luck!
...............................
|
