A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Am I unintentionally kind of leading him on?I've been seeing a man for about 5 months. He's very sweet and has a lot of qualities I love...but I'm not positive I'm "in love" sometimes I feel like I am, and I feel like if he were to say it, I would say it back. He's alluded to it several times, and has come close to blurting it out...so I'm pretty sure he's in love with me.We talk a lot about the future, our hopes, dreams, etc. He asked me to be committed with him..I somewhat reluctantly agreed.I'm unsure what to do at this point. I feel like I'm in to deep to ask him to slow down-and I'm not sure that's even what I want to do. I'm not trying to lead him on, but if I'm not 100% positive about my feelings...aren't I? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (16 November 2013):
I think you need to let him go. I don't think you are leading him on, but I do think you don't have those "LOVE" feelings for him. That to me, is wasting your time and his. I know that if I were him I would be upset that you are wasting my time.
If you don't see a future with this gentlemen then let him go. You need to find that someone that you can't wait to get home to, that makes it feel like your 5 and it's Christmas morning, someone you can invision your life without.
A
female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (15 November 2013):
Dear OP,
I don't think you've been leading him on so far.. but you're not sure you love him, so please don't say it or don't say it back just for the sake of it.
I suppose you not feeling "in love" could have two reasons..
1) The fact that he's already head over heels is making you feel "pushed" to replicate these feelings.. and that kind of kills the mood for you. If that's the case, when you get a little break from him, you'll start to miss him and realize that you're about to fall in love and it was just too much too fast.
2) You're not in love and it won't happen anymore. You can either lie to yourself and to him and hope it's still going to happen, because you see he has good qualities and you don't want to disappoint him. Or you can be honest and stop dating him, so both of you can find mutual love.
I can't look inside your heart so I don't know if it's 1) or 2) that's going on. But I recommend you ask him for a break, so you can come clean about your feelings.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (15 November 2013):
It doesn't sound like you're leading him on at all. You've said you'll be monogamous, that's it. If you ever change your mind you're free to do so.
It seems safe to say that neither one of you are head over heels for the other yet, so you already seem to be taking it slow.
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A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (15 November 2013):
 "i am unintentionally kind of leading him on?" love is a choice, love is of giving of your self to the other person, love is sharing, love is putting the other person's best interest ahead of your own. "I'm not trying to lead him on,but if I'm not 100% positive about my feelings....aren't I?" feelings come and go, they become strong and weak. feeling are unreliable but love is enduring. if you are not 100% in love with the guy you are spend time with, talking about the future,our hopes , and dreams you are leading him on with doubts in the back of your mind. why else would you be posting this question? hoping to talk you out of it?, or in the relationship deeper? you owe it to him to be honest, and be in 100% or let him go and find someone that is 100% in love with him. when it comes to relationships you need to be with the one you can't live without, not the one you can live with.
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