A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:My partner recently had a bit of a fling - (about 6 months ago) but wont talk about it except it is over and he wants to be with me.He has been and is working away alot and I have been feeling insecure. I have rung his cell phone quite alot when he has been away, although he has never really answered my call or text (except to say stop hassling him).I get a bit carried away with ringing him i.e if he doesn't answer i will ring again and again incase he hears it, but it annoys him...Lately since coming back from a big work trip abroad, he is saying he doesn't want to be with me at the moment due to my paranoia and needs a break.He wanted me to move out for a couple of weeks, but i refused, so this is the second weekend he has gone away.He is saying he loves me and always will but I can't love him how he wants - with no stalking and no jealousy.I booked to go to a marriage councillor, but he wouldn't go saying why would he want to spend his day off going there.His mobile, when he is at home is more or less attached to him and he is always texting other people, but never me when he is away...Am I totally stupid thinking there is hope for us.It is friday evening and he is away sunday lunch time - doesn't want me contacting him as he needs time on his own and due to me not moving out, he has to go away.Today, I had alook at somewhere else to live, but he says I am rushing things and we may get through this..- he is giving me mixed messages and is adamant there is no one else - I don't want to be stupid and want to do the right thing, but i don't know what to do.
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a break, insecure, jealous, mixed messages, stalking, text Reply to this Question
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female
reader, krista4414  +, writes (15 May 2007):
Maybe you should make yourself more unavaiable to him? Don't call him at all period and when he comes home don't greet him with hugs and kisses or in a friendly manner. Just say hey and then say well I'm leaving talk to you later and have that be it. Make it obvious that you have other plans and you don't want any distractions. He's more than likely so positive that your going to crave his attention but when you don't he'll really feel awkward. Have you ever had a guy that called you at least three times a day all the time. Then all at once quit calling. All of a sudden your just dying to talk to him. It will work trust me. It may take more then just one day .
A
female
reader, elsie +, writes (13 May 2007):
 you poor women.hes behaving disgusting and is the same selfish man who had this affair in the first place.sorry but i would bet my last penny that hes definetly doing the same again!why should he come to counselling now when hes never had to explain to you the reasons he had this 1st affair??honey youve let it drag on for far too long and you need to put yourself out of this slow strangling neckhold that hes got you in.hes treating you like a chained pet and feeding you scraps whenever the mood takes him.no wonder you keep phoning and texting him constantly your probably driven into a frenzy by being ignored.been there done that.its becomes like a sick dance of emotions.you are the only one who can brake the chain.have some respect for yourself because he certainly hasnt got any for you.the only time he pipes up is to say bugger off?he wants you to love him "his way"but cant even give you the time of day for a phonecall???relationships are about talking and thrashing out your problems.theres nothing worse that sulking and ignoring problems.if i was you babe id spare what little dignity i had left and use it to get away from this selfish man.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (12 May 2007): #1 you really have to give him his space, even though its really hard right now. Eventually he will come back when he is ready and when he does sit down, one on one and really talk to this man, be honest and calm, tell him exactly hat youve been feeling and see how he has been feeling.
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A
female
reader, maryann61181 +, writes (12 May 2007):
 Don't hang on to too much hope here. He's selfish. Do your own thing right now. Live your life for you and if he comes around, he will come around. Leave it be for now. I'm in the same situation basically - 6 1/2 mo. pregnant and the father of the baby - whom I was with for 3 years decided to start another relationship. I spent over $1000 for therapy and he was lying to me the whole time about sleeping with another woman - while I'm pregnant. Don't trust him right now. Just move on with your life, you will be happier eventually. You should go see a therapist yourself. This will help, it helped me. Stay strong for yourself and don't let a man walk on you. No, you are not stupid, you are hurt and feel betrayed and want answers, but you're probably not going to get them. Leave if you can and go pamper yourself. Hang in there
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