A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 9 months now, we are in love and really care about eachother. im 17 and hes 23, we both have jobs and that. at the moment hes looking for his own place, and the other night he turnt and said to me "you could live with me" i was drunk at the time, he was sober, but i just smiled at him and he hasnt mentioned it since. did you think he was joking or was he being serious? i know him really well, i have known him for years and im his first love and first girlfriend. if he brings it up again what should i say? do you think im too young to make a big commitment like this? but i really do love him. any advice
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reader, anonymous, writes (17 November 2009): I honestly do not think you should move in with your boyfriend. Even if he advised you or offered you too. Things can be great in the beginning but sometimes one person is more committed than the other and that's when problems arise. I live with my boyfriend. Everything was rainbows and butterflies at first. We have been together 2 years and living together 1 year. Things have not been good at all. I feel he's getting tired of me. I love him so much, and I try to show him but I feel him so far from me, even though we are living together. I also feel like I don't attract him anymore because he does not touch me like he used to. I would say to just keep dating. You are never too young to move in with another guy, just like you are never too young to be in a relationship or too old for somebody else. But it's a lot of responsibility and it takes a lot of dedication. Think about the good things in your life and what it really is you want from this guy and out of life. Seems like he's pretty serious about you. But don't ruin your relationship by making the mistake of moving in with him. Think about it.... good luck!
A
female
reader, old-spinstah +, writes (17 November 2009):
I think you are a bit too young to take such a drastic step. Discuss it seriously with your family before making any decision. After all, if the relationship goes pear-shaped, you will have to move back into the family home.
If you are still studying you will not be earning a proper wage to be able to afford more than a token rent. This will make you very financially dependent on your boyfriend and, if the place is legally his, he can simply chuck you out. I know that when you're so deeply in love it sounds like a complete impossibility but it can and does happen. If you do move in with him make sure you have somewhere else to go if that happens. Don't burn bridges with your family or anything.
If he brings it up again, just say that it sounds a lovely idea for the future (if you think it does) but that you'd rather wait until you had a bit more money/finished college/goet a better job etc.
If your relationship is strong and lasts, you'll have plenty of time for cohabiting. Moving out of the family home can be a real learning curve.
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A
female
reader, Blod +, writes (17 November 2009):
 No, I don't think you're too young. Provided that you go into it with your eyes wide open.
You clearly know it's a big commitment, and you seem to have a wise head on your shoulders. There'll be a lot of issues and things to consider. Not only where you live but finance,your relationship and living together. It's a big deal but you sound like you should be ok with it.
Make sure you know exactly what you're going into and be sure to discuss it with family, friends and whoever you're currently living with. They know you better as well as your boyfriend and will be able to advise you better.
Maybe it would be a good idea to phase in living with him. Gradually build up how much time you spend living there. It'll prepare you for living there full time and it won't seem as such a big thing in the end.
Good Luck. X
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