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female
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*tonePrincess
writes: Long Distance Flirtationship Me and my best guy friend's(we'll call him Pal) brother(we'll call him Huck). Huck and me met about a month before he deployed for 9 months in Bahrain and there was this unspoken attraction that we both fought knowing he was leaving. We both tried to avoid getting close knowing he was this. But here's the tricky part: One we definitely had sparks, two he had a "not" girlfriend who refused to date him but they had a relationship essentially set up so she wouldn't have to be loyal to him when he left. Me and him got very close and ended up kissing before he left.(naturally I thought her wanting to date someone else meant they were through when i kissed him otherwise wouldn't have found myself doing this) He said he was torn because he liked me but wasn't sure about the other girl who he had dated for almost a year but threw him for a loop saying she was going to see someone else while he was gone but then suddenly wanted him to promise her forever. He was confused and scared and didn't want to hurt anyone. Anyways I told him i wanted to get to know him and I understood he was scared and i had patience we'd take it day by day. We talked everyday got very flirty he even told the other girl to stay when he went on pass before he deployed and told me this so I would come see him, being best friends with his brother I wanted to go to New Orleans anyhow but not cause trouble if he wanted to see the other girl. I didn't want to step on anyone's toes. So gets more complicated. His best friend (all of us became fast friends mind you during the month before they left)let's call him Skipp. Skipp and Pal both have crushes on me and asked me out,Huck knew this and asked if there was any interest there he wouldn't stand in the way. I ASSURED HIM THERE WAS NOT. Huck seems to be shy and avoided making moves on me in front of his brother as he knew he liked me. Long story short we end up sneaking a make out session to avoid hurting anybody. But it kinda hurt my feelings :( These other boys knew i was ONLY INTERESTED in Huck...but that didn't stop them from repeatedly asking me out..and this sucks because I used to turn to Pal and Skipp for advice. Both gave me the "Id walk away if I were you" but then hit on me. Pal however did say Huck was a good man...this is the first time he's been so confused according to him. I was upfront with Huck, told him I liked him, wanted to write him. He said he didn't want to do anything relationshipwise til he came home but instead work on himself, but we would still write and text, facebook, etc. and we obviously made out(no sex just kissing) We stayed very flirty and he'd bounce back and forth between being sweet and then brushing me off..or perhaps not..writing is difficult..maybe I'm reading to much into this? For a month we texted every day til he was stationed. And i was among the first he contacted. Now he seems suddenly distant after we got so close. I know he gets on facebook and likes posts and occasionally comments to friends..but why not me? Hell like my post and answers if i ask questions and usually if i write him,but never initiates . I know he's shy but is this shyness or just plain uninterested? I even did this yellow ribbon thing with a mutual girlfriend of ours who liked a guy in his platoon. told him we were wearing yellow ribbons for them as for the Candace "she wore a yellow ribbon for the soldier far far away" We sent pictures of us wearing yellow ribbons as well in a photo shoot we did for memorial day(he hasn't gotten them yet :S) I thought this was a cute way to show support to a nice boy I liked who was scared to death, got dumped before he left, and was leaving his world behind. I thought the circumstance warranted support, extra sweetness, and no games...perhaps I came on too strong?? Any advice? I like him a lot I want to be supportive and am very close to everyone in our friend circle, his brother, his best friends so it would be sad if we couldn't even talk. Am i wrong in being so sweet?...perhaps he isn't that into me? Perhaps I'm being a silly girl? Help!
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (18 June 2013):
 Perhaps you are just reading way to much in to this. There are no signs here to say that he is not interested. My guess is that he is just trying to adapt to his new life. He was clear to you that he does not want a relationship at the moment so you need to take that on board and remember not to come on to strong. For now you need to accept that you and him are only friends. Maybe when he gets home things will be different but for now this is all that can happen. Therefore I think you need to just get on with your own life. Hang out with friends, keep busy and just talk to him as a friend. Don't expect to much from him for now.
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