A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I bumped into an ex boyfriend last night. We dated for a few months in 2004, and we stayed in contact throughout 2005, and we met up a few times in 2006, and have stayed in contact sometimes since then. He is a year younger than me. All the time we were in contact, he said he has always fancied me, and has occassionaly asked me to meet up, and either he hasnt followed it up, or i havent. The last time we spoke before i saw him last night was a month or so ago, and even then he was still saying the same thing to me.He'd also ask me questions, such as if i went on holiday or to concerts, he'd ask me who i was going there with, and he'd sometimes say he wished he was going there with me etc. However, last night, i was really surprised to see him, i shouted his name and i smiled and said hello to him, and he said hi you alright?, then just walked away.He was on his own at that point, then he was stood in another part of the room, and i saw he was with afew men, and a few women. I was with my uncle at the time, but he didnt know it was my uncle.I'm wondering why he didnt have more of a conversation with me, and about his behaviour in the past. I felt really embarassed and confused. I also sent him a message today, asking if he had a good night, and that i hoped we were still friends, and told him what i'm going to be up to, but he didnt respond. Am i too nice for my own good?
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Thanks for your replies.The last time we spoke, he asked to meet up with me, but i already had something else arranged,and i said i would send him an email that day and then didnt.
I felt embarrassed the other night, since he was with afew women, and especially if one of them was his new girlfriend.I'm not sure i should have even said hello to him, but as i said, i'd only seen him on his own at that point.We were in a nightclub, by the way.I did see him turn round a couple of times, after he walked past me, he was stood facing away from me, but i'm not sure if he was looking round in general, or looking at me.I only glanced as didnt want him to know i was looking.
I was kind of annoyed aswell, as in the past he has mentioned us having a night out quite recently, but he never followed it up.
I did answer all his questions in the text messages too.
I also thought that if he still liked me just as much as he's always done even as recently as a month or so ago, as he said, then if he is with someone else, he's kind of moved on quite quickly.Even if he had been with someone else, i wish he had told me.At least i would have known and then we could have sorted out whether we should stay friends or not.I dont like not knowing where i stand with him.
I'm not sure, but i think if he had still been interested, he would have stayed in the same part of the room as me,but as i sad, he was there at first, but then he went over to another part of the room.I didnt see him after that actually,i moved about abit just before i left, i left about half an hour after i saw him,so i wondered if he had left, and hoped it wasnt coz of me.He may have been behind a crowd of people though,or may have left co he'd already been there a while.
I didnt want to tell him in my text yesterday that i was out with my uncle, as i was worried about him texting saying he was out with a new girlfriend.
I dont feel that i want to get back together with him, but would still feel sad if he has moved on, for some reason, as we did have some good times.
A
female
reader, dangerouslove.  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 Theres nothing wrong with wanting to catch up with an ex every once in a while. Even though he has told you before that he still liked you, maybe that was before. I don't mean to get your hopes down, but maybe he has moved on? Maybe he hasn't. It could be that he thought your uncle was really a boyfriend or your date, it could of made him feel uncomfortable. Don't be down that he hasn't responded to your message. Maybe he hasn't been online to see it yet. Either way, It could be alot of different reasons why he didn't stop to make small talk with you, try to think postive, and try to forget about it. I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt your feelings.
Best of luck.
:)
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