A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:this isnt really a relationship problem, more a life problem but here goes....every time I go out I am either very quite and shy, so noone likes me, or i have a drink and am embarressingly loud and people think (and i quote) "that girl is mad", "barmy", "wierd" i don't know what to do as i feel i am such a boring person that no guy will ever like as a friend or for a relationship. i have barely any boys who are mates because i am so dull/ mad. what shall i do?
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male
reader, WastedLife  +, writes (10 May 2008):
Just one drink gets you loud? Wow - maybe sip a beer and leave it. Don't try hard for the boyfriend - he'll come to you. A little flirtiness is OK, but less is more here.
Write a list of things that excite you and you would do if you had a boyfriend. Cross of the ones that need to be done together such as making love. Then start DOING the rest of them and you will be exciting! You will be excited and others tend to feel it. Make sure you look good without looking "made up" and look in the mirror until you like the girl that's there. Then hang out wherever and know you're cool, and eventually others will. It's hard in the beginning, and always for some of us. but you WILL get there. If you were on the other side of the pond and a year older(legalities, etc.) I'd show you myself. Have fun, and know that some of us really care for you!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 May 2008): you are not a boring person at all but you obviously have some confidence issues, which always hinder the person's life in some way. shy people with confidence issues are so common and everyone is shy at some time in their life but as you learn and grow you will become a more confident person, do things like practise youre public speaking regularly and anytime you feel like you cant do something remember all the things that you feel proud about it can be anything that makes you feel valuable as a person, the smallest thing. this is how i got over my confidence issues, also try new things more-try new and different things than your friends because this will help you develop as an individual- hun do you actually REALLY want a bf because just cause your friends may be into it, you're your own person and being an individual is way more valuable than being able to say "oh yeah i have boyfriend" im so good blah blah-in actula fact having a boyfriend means nothing, the important thing is that youre comfortable in your own skin and mature with who you are, whether youre single or not is irrelevant as long as you're happy. life isnt great at the moment but im telling you when you develop more as an individual you will meet the right people who are interesting and amazing and value you for who you are. you dont need to go out drinking with them just for the sake of drinking, what are you interseted in pursue it as a hobby. it is a life problem but nothing you cant overcome and more people are going through it than you realise :) good luck and feel completely free to meassage me further :):) xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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