A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating a man around my age (25) for roughly two months (with some breaks in between because of holidays). We met through a dating site, and he's generally a nice guy, however, he just got out of a 5 year relationship in August, which meant we started dating around two months after he got dumped. I realize that this is a dangerous time to start dating someone, but despite that fact that he's a very nice and affectionate person and treats me pretty well. However, he gets very bitter about his ex, and everything around us is starting to remind him of her (they don't talk). They were in a long distance relationship in a city two hours from where we live, and he refuses to ever go back to that city (despite the fact that I go there on my own quite often) because she lives there and there are too many memories for him. When we walk by a store in our town, he'll point out places they went to and shopped and ate and sometimes suggest that we go there too or will refuse to step inside because of a bad memory. The thing that bothered me the most was when he wanted to try something of a sexual nature that made me really awkward and uncomfortable, and when I wanted to stop he mentioned that he and his ex had no problems doing it, and how pleasant it was for them, etc. This happened just a few days ago, and it still bothers me. I should have said something, but I just had no idea how to respond to something like that.I've been keeping a distance emotionally, knowing that it's still early in the relationship and he does need time to heal. I know that a lot of warning signs are there, but like I said, he's very sweet to me and contacts me pretty frequently, despite having a busy schedule. We get along really well, and he's the most affectionate guy I've been with, which I like, but the talk about his ex is really driving me crazy. What should I do? Should I talk to him? I've told him a few times, very directly, that I'm not his ex. Should I just cut my losses and get out?
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female
reader, Fabulosa +, writes (3 January 2011):
 Sound like he has some serious issue! And clearly has. Ton of feelings for her. He may be a good guy but you just met him at the wrong time. Id end it as nicely as I could maybe try to remain friends and see what happens. GOOD LUCK!
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