A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi everybodyI know this might be a bit of an unusual question but am I the only one or is there anybody else who is afraid of living in an appartment building?Up until now I've always lived in houses and I'm about to move into a building with 7 flats.For several reasons this totally creeps me out and it even keeps me awake at night cause those horror scenarios of what could happen won't stop playing in my head.So like I said I would very much like to know who else suffers from this kind of fears and much more what you did to make it better.Thanks for taking the time to reply.P.S.: Please no silly comments about how this is weird or anything in that kind. It's a serious question and I would like it to be treated as such. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2010): Thank you very much.
It's true that you were probably not very much off the mark and there are most certainly deeper fears I'll have to work on.
Thank for taking the time to write an answer again. It made me feel a little better and look at the situation with some more confidence. I'll try to follow your advice and I hope everything will turn out well.
I am also a bit of a loner and don't like socializing very much so I think I would rather like to avoid making friends with my neighbours.
Until now I have always been able to shield myself off from unwanted social or human contact and now that seems a lot more difficult.
Anyway your words did still encourage me so thanks again.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (1 October 2010):
 Ah.I wasn't too off the mark,then.
It seems to me that your fear of living in an apartment is just the translation on a physical, tangible plane of some more hidden,less tangible fear.
Maybe it's about control- if you don't have total control about your environment, you feel insecure. Or about being close to people-physically close, but even more emotionally close. Who knows. Worth giving it a thought, though.
I am sure that rationally you realize that , while also rapists and serial killers have neighbours, the chance of you getting one as your next door neighbour is not so high. And more than that, that in terms of actual danger ( fire, theft, breaking in,being mugged and a lot of accidents ) you are actually safer in an apartment complex rather than living by yourself in a rural or suburban area. But fears are often not rational. Maybe if the idea of moving really makes you so uncomfortable, you could try exploring your feelings with the help of a counselor.
From a more practical point of view , try making peace with the idea of your new home looking at the advantages it offers. Generally, in a small building like where you are going, people are friendly and you may even get to socialize. And they sort of look after each other : if you lock yourself out, or your lights go out suddenly, or you need to borrow a cup of sugar :) you can count on your neighbours.
Also ,try focusing on the fact that , while living in an apartment building may not be very common in your country ( according to my Finnish friend )- there are many areas of the world where it is instead the ONLY way of living that people knows- and only a very small percentage of them ever gets any harm or damage because of it.
Good luck !
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Wow, I thought I was the only one! I'm very hesitant to live in an apartment as well, mostly because you never know if your neighbor may be a rapist or just some creep. I don't want so many people to know where I live!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 September 2010): Yes the worst part is indeed that I can't control who lives there and the fact that we share a floor, a staircase and a roof makes me feel like they are just too close to me.
So for example that fact that I could have a rapist for example that close to me would make me feel like he is part of my life of myself and that is just to hard to take for me.
I am so scared and if I only had a choice I would not live there.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (30 September 2010):
Yours is an interesting question , even if I am surely not qualified to answer you, since I have lived all my life ( except 4 years when I was in California ) in apartment buildings . One was 32 floors, with 8 or 10 apartments each floor, so I cannot say I can relate to you. But it's this that I find interesting :
what is is EXACTLY that scares you about apartment living ?
Our fears are almost always metaphores, symbols. Your fear of apartment buildings could be a cover for something else.
What is precisely that gives you anxiety about apartment buildings ? That you have no control about who is gonna live there ? That people is gonna invade your privacy, or ,
au contraire, that you won't be able to fit in... Anything specific ?...
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