A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'd like some advice (hopefully including guys' views) about a stupid argument I've had with my bf. We've been dating for 5 years. It's his birthday soon, so I got some tickets for us to see a band he loves as a surprise. So I asked him if he would be free on the day of the gig, and he said he was meant to be watching a football match. So I said I was hoping he'd join me for his birthday treat, and he said he'd rather go to the football match. I'm sad that he won't forgo the match to come and have a birthday day of treats that I've arranged for him. It's a normal league game, not a final or anything! This kind of thing has happened before and it gets me down. I just wish he'd rather come and enjoy his birthday treat instead of going to a regular football match. Am I stupid to feel down about it? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, andy747  +, writes (28 March 2009):
i'm just trying to be helpful so don't take anything i suggest personally ;). some guys just really love their sports. for this situation, yes it was really nice of you to get those tickets, and he probably should go with you, but it is HIS birthday. guy or girl we both need our breaks from our spouses. going to a football match is just his way of temporarily "escaping" his everyday life, just like watching a movie might be for you, or spending time with just the girls. after 5 you are definitely the most important thing to him, he just needs this as his escape. i don't like using that word because i feel it could be misinterpreted but try to bear with me. this part is important. he'll always want to go to his matches, so sorry, but you probably can't stop him. if you argue about it, it will make him like the matches even more, and want to escape more often, because he knows there will be confrontation before and after. if you act pleasant when he leaves and when he comes back (don't go with him unless he offers ;) ), it will be hard for him not to think about how much he likes you even at his matches.
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