A
male
age
41-50,
*ohnaddison22
writes:Hi I am 26 years old I have been married almost 2 years now. well let me start off by telling you my faults so that you might understand her side of it. Before we got married I started talking to a girl from work, but never did anything sexually with her, I was always really jealous and accused her of cheating. 6 months into our marriage she did, we split she lived with him, we got back together, but the guy lives with us. We broke up 2 weeks ago, she said she had to think about being with me, he is always around, she is pregnant may be his may be mine. she says she wants to be with me but isnt sure. we dont have sex at all, she is always saying I am horrible, but doesnt want to be through. He is always there without me, but she swears nothing is going on. I am never there without him. I work hard and make good money, and I pay for everything that we do for fun, and she always invites him. She had a family get together, and I was not invited but he went. Am I stupid for staying?
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broke up, got back together, jealous, money Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2008): Stupid for staying? I wouldn't say stupid. Weak, depressed, low self-esteem or something. Simply put you need to get out, you need to get on with your life. I bet the other guy doesn't get paid what you do and that's why its such a hard decision for her to leave you. Make sure you get a lawyer and don't let her talk you into giving her things let the lawyer negotiate.
A
female
reader, accused +, writes (20 August 2008):
 I am going to say this and I am giving my advice off of your question and the reasons you listed.
First she sounds to me like someone who is getting everything she wants (in all directions)! She has no respect for, your daughter, the unborn child, or HERSELF! If she being your " W I F E" would really ASK you to accept letting another MAN live with you guys then she is totally violating the "MARRIAGE" more so then she already has! Marriage is a bond between A MAN & A WOMAM..NOT between a man, a woman, & her other boyfriend! I can understand you wanting to be around your daughter, but not under these circumstances.... What are Two as her parents teaching her? Its ok to live with more than one man? To be married and NOT know if the child your preg with is your HUSBANDS? Children are a product of their enviroment! If you accept these living arrangements then she will grow to accept them as well! I am sorry and you can believe that nothing is going on if you want too, but you stated that you two didn't have sex? Trust me you don't keep your ex boyfriend around for the fun of it! And if your not doing the job, then trust me he is! Please see things for what they are.. There are courts that will let you see your daughter! and the other child, if its yours... Don't let this woman run over you! Best of luck and PLEASE keep me posted
Accused
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A
male
reader, johnaddison22 +, writes (20 August 2008):
johnaddison22 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Honestly all these answers are helping me towards a decision in my life. Ofcoarse this will be a life altering decision. to answer the question about why she didnt invite me, well it was because her grandmother was down, and she didnt want the two candidates of her baby being there at the same time, the reason he went was because his son was going with her, and then after they were there I found out he never went with them. It is not harsh, it is constructive. this has flipped my life upside down, and I am just trying to make heads to tails of it. I am in a small town with not many prospects of good relationships, but i make 60000.00 a year plus bonuses, and I am not that bad looking, I am just a pushover, and that doesnt get you far in the love world.
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A
male
reader, johnaddison22 +, writes (20 August 2008):
johnaddison22 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt is not that I let him live with me, I really had no choice in the matter, If I wanted to be around her and my daughter, I had to agree to this. Todays society hardly ever allows a Father to make the bigger decisions concerning the parent child relationship. I appreciate your answer, it is probably the best answer I could have gotten.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2008): To answer your question in the simplest possible terms - yes you are. Why on earth do you allow him to live with you? I have difficulty in understanding that.
I feel sure you'd be better off leaving them to it and getting on with your life.
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A
female
reader, SuperSammie  +, writes (20 August 2008):
 how come you wern't invited to the family get together?
no offence but it sounds like shes stringing you along,
the baby may be his,
she has loads of time alone with him,
she invites him to everything you want to do alone with her
she invite him (not you) to family get togethers
it just sounds like she's enjoying her relationship with him, and your just there to take her out n stuff.
yer, you may have been the bad guy at the start off the relationship, but thats in the past, she cheated, not you and now no offence but you sound like your just letting her walk all over you. and you sound like a decent guy, don't bother wasting time with her. get out and find someone who deserves you a lot more than she does.
shes walking all over you and takin you for granted.
your her husband, not him, you should be doing things alone with her, spending time with her, going to family get togethers. not him.
get out and find someone true who will treat you with the respect and love you deserve.
hope this helps
S x
(sorry if it sounds bit harsh)
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