A
female
age
30-35,
*i-Curious?
writes:[Moderator note: Two questions were combined into one, as they are from the same poster with essentially the same question.FIRST QUESTION:Am I straight, bi-curious, bi or lesbian?Full story:When I was younger, about 6), I had these neighbours who were younger than me. 2 of them were sisters and the other one was just an only child. The younger sister was about...8, the older one was about 10 and the other neighbour was around 7. We used to experiment on each other by licking each others' pussies, boobs, fingering, etc. This stuff went on for about a year or so and I don't remember what happened after that.So, when I reached about 11, I remembered the stuff me and my neighbours used to do (the sisters are still my neighbours; however, the other neighbour left a months after out experiences). I started watching lesbian porn (ONLY LESBIAN porn) and getting horny, etc. I even tried masturbating by fingering and inserting, etc.Now, I'm 16, and that feeling still hasn't gone away. I've only dated one guy, and I don't really think I have feelings for girls. (E.g. I don't really stare at their boobs or other body parts and I don't see myself loving girls. However, I do wish one of my friends would just do something to let me know they were lesbian so we could have sex. I would never turn down sex, kissing, touching (or anything lesbian-y) with a girl, but I would with a boy. Yesterday, my neighbour, the older one, who is now 20) came over to my house to print something, since her printer was broken, and I couldn't help wondering if she remembered all the experiences with me (since there was four of us, she was my partner) and whether she was still a lesbian. My younger sister was in so I couldn't really make any moves or ask questions, but I don't think I would've even if she wasn't because I'd be too afraid that she wasn't a lesbian and she'd think I was weird. I really want a lesbian sex experience (which I haven't had for 10 whole years!!), but I don't know what to do.And, I'm not sure what my orientation is. Please help!Thank you x-----------------SECOND QUESTION:I don’t think I am attracted to girls but, I NEVER watch straight porn, as it disgusts me, but I ALWAYS watch lesbian porn. As soon as my family leaves the house, I go straight to lesbian porn websites. Last night, my neighbour, who, when I was 6, I had lesbian experiences with her, came over to print something off because her printer wasn’t working. I can't help but to wish that she kissed me or something. Obviously, even if she wanted to, she wouldn’t be able to because my younger sister was there. I wish I would’ve left a lesbian tab open so that she could see that I was still into that stuff. Secondly, there is this girl in our school who some people say she is a lesbian. They say that she used to touch girls’ bums on the carpet (this was way back when I was 10 or 11). Also, when we used to do swimming, her, and her two or three friends shared one small cubicle and I heard them laughing and such. And, when I shared one of the big cubicles with them (the ones meant for sharing) and she begged me to pull down my bra and show her my boobs, but then she done it for me. Nothing really happened though. I asked her if she really was a lesbian and I wished more than anything that she’d say ‘yes’ but, she didn’t. I just wish I could have sex with a girl cos I miss it so much.Please give me advice on how to find out if anyone is a lesbian without everyone thinking I’m weird and teasing me.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Bi-Curious? +, writes (24 July 2009):
Bi-Curious? is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks a lot for these replies. I have now learned that I don't have to fall into a label. I think I am curious and I also think I am adventurous. Thank you very much for your help guys.
I also think I'm very weird because one day, I am dreaming about being a full lesbian and having fun with girls and the next, I am totally grossed out by those ideas. However, I do have a secret desire to live in a really cool flat with two sexy lesbian flatmates, go clubbing with them all the time and always come home to a very steamy sex encounter with them! *wink*
Jess x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): your just curious go with the flow if you gay well that just you dont ever let anyone tell you if your gay or not or strait or not you are who you are be your self.plus google can tell you where to find lesbian places
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A
female
reader, Bi-Curious? +, writes (24 July 2009):
Bi-Curious? is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks a lot for these replies. I have now learned that I don't have to fall into a label. I think I am curious and I also think I am adventurous. Thank you very much for your help guys.
Jess x
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A
female
reader, Quacked +, writes (24 July 2009):
 Well it seems to me that you are extremely curious about women and that an experience with women would help you to assess how you really felt. This does not make you a lesbian, just curious.
You say that you had early experiences with your neighbours this may be what is heightening this curiosity...you enjoyed your early experiences and as you reach sexual maturity you think back to those times and long to try it again.
Your attraction to women and the fact that you've dated a guy could mean that you are bi but i think you need to get some more experience. You don't need a label...you'll discover your sexual orientation in time.
There is no clear way of defining someone's sexuality...i would suggest that you try to find a LGBT group (google it in your area). This would offer you support with your sexuality and also help you meet people that either are openly gay or are confused as you are. They are very discreet and confidential so no-one needs to know that you are attending such a group.
It can be really difficult trying to understand your sexuality but, having been there, things do become clear in time. Don't rush yourself.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2009): Hi
Firstly you were extremely young when these first experiences happend, but it is not uncommon, lots of children experiment with friends innocently when they are young. You are still only 16, and still curious which again is quite normal. Looking at lesbian porn does not mean you are a lesbian, but to me it sounds like you need to know one way or another. The thing is you have to let this go naturally, you cannot force yourself eitherway, what will be will be. In time you will clearly see which path makes you feel the most comfortable, why not try enjoying dicsovering you, making new friends, doing different things, everything will fall into place. Just be true to yourself, and most of all be happy with yourself, you sound like a lovely person.
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