A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So me and my boyfriend have been dating on and off for about 3 years now. I love him very much, the deepest love i have ever felt for anyone. We have broken up 3 times and I have been the one to break up with him. The first time we dated 3 months and he was my first. I broke up with him because he was very clingy. Several months later i was really missing him but we hadnt hung out or even talked on the phone and just randomly started dating again, so it was very awkward and i broke up with him after two weeks. almost half a year or more went by and we became friends again, hanging out and talking but not dating and we eventually decided to become bf and gf again and it was great for about 8 months but he started being kind of controlling again and i was getting tired of it. we went about 10 months without talking or seeing each other and one day we saw each other in town and it started the phone conversations to dating again, it has now been 8 and a half months and it is great a lot of times but it really sucks a lot of times too.I am a sophmore in college and he is a senior in high school. now he is talking about going into the marienes, We are very serious in the way that we talk about our future sometimes, i want to marry him and he says he wants to marry me and i can really see his love, but sometimes he really hurts my feelings and when i confront him about it he doesnt ever try to fix it, i dont want him to change who he is but a relationship takes effort from both parties and i feel like he is makeing no effort what so ever. Its like he only thinks its one sided, he thinks i over react all the time which i know that i am very sensitive but he doesnt try to help the situation any. He doesnt talk to me on the phone only texts because it is very hard for him to get signal where he lives, and we dont get to see each other but about three times a week because we are both full time students with part time jobs that dont exactly meet schedules. I dnt know what to do any more. i feel if i break up with him we will never get back together which could be a good thing but we have been together for so long i feel like i cant find anyone else. i will feel so lonely wihtout him and what if its the biggest mistake of my life. but i wont know if there is someone else out there or if it will be better in the long run. My question is, am i only with him because im afraid of being lonely and starting over or is it just me and i need to get over it and just wait things out?
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI want to talk to him about it again, have a really serious conversation, but last time what i wanted to get me a hug, kiss and i love you baby got me an argument and comment i wasnt expecting. He told me that he loved me and wanted to be with me but didnt want to be in a relationship with me. At first i didnt understand it but now i see where he is comming from, I love him and i want to be with him, but i dont want to be in the type of relationship we are in. He has been putting certain (unmentionable things) in front of me and i dont like it at all, but he sees no problem with it.
A
female
reader, Shan25 +, writes (17 November 2009):
everyone is afraid of being alone. the connection you have with him seems to be love and thats a good thing. it sounds like more of a friendship than relationship. try not to push a relationship and plus always remember if a man wants you he will always make a way to be with you on exceptions.
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