A
female
age
30-35,
*ovinthehubbyx
writes:hi,me and my step dad really dont get on, for a start he always gets jelous when i spend time with my mum and moans when i ask her to do something for me...he uses drugs and never contributes to the house, hed rather do drugs...we argue all the time and its making my mum and me stressed and as some of you may know from my previous statements im mentally distracted so its making me worse to. am i wrong to really resent him?please help!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (19 July 2008):
 Why would you be in the wrong for resenting someone who's been brought into the family and is assumingly not doing what's right for the family?
You are your moms child and always have the right to a full mother daughter relationship. His interfering with that, what caused your mom to choose him to merry? I have a saying I would use, which someone liked and wrote me to ask if they could cite my quote in a college paper they were writing. It says this "It's okay to find happiness, but it's not okay to do so at the expense of your child."
I say that because as a single parent myself, if I get married again, I will make sure the person I merry is equally or a greater benefit to my children than she would be for me. That is the least I would expect for my kids.
Do you ever talk to your mom about this? You and your mom are family, and should be open with how you feel about this choice. What I want you to remember through this is, he may not respect you or your mom, but never lower yourself to the same level of disrespect. You be the good person you are, no matter the less than good others may show.
Take care.
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