A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:A few weeks ago, my boyfriend went to his local pub, and he saw a married woman that he knew that day. I wasn't there at the time. She asked him to help her pick songs on the jukebox and then he said he danced with her. He said it wasn't intimate kind of dancing. It was just twirling. He said her husband watched and just shook his head. Then he said he 'managed to get away' and then she danced with other men. He said he told her that he had a girlfriend. I said no wonder some people in there could think he was single as they had never seen me with him and I said if I had been there, she wouldn't have done that. Do you think I am right to be upset?. I don't know how well he knows her. He knows a lot of people who go there as he has lived near there all his life. Isn't there a fine line between friendliness, flirting and affairs or emotional affairs?. He said he has had banter with other people in there too.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): I am a dancer. So is my boyfriend.Dancing with members of the opposite sex is okay. It can also be fun and gives you a chance to enjoy dance as well as practice your dance skills. It can be a social outlet. Where people have fun. That is all. Dancing is universal and enjoyed by everyone.I think you are reading too much into this. They were just dancing. Nothing more to it.If they were grinding or touching, being suggestive in their movements, or being flirtatious throughout the dance, that is another story. If there was full on, lingering eye contact, sexual innuendo, etc. then yes, I would be upset. But if it was just good, clean fun, no worries there. And by the sounds of it, your boyfriend just let loose and it could easily have been anyone else. She just happened to be there at the time.Hope this helps. :)
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 Think you are over reacting, she danced with him, in full view off her husband. She probably wanted to have fun, maybe you should go out with him more, be social and have fun. No harm in dancing with someone. Try it, you might enjoy it.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 I agree with Honeypie .
He was not grinding, or dancing some passionate tango with this woman, he was just goofing it up a bit in front of the whole pub and of the woman 's husband. And for a short time.
Plus, from what I get , that's his usual watering hole, where he banters with this and that, and , probably
" where everybody knows his name and they are always glad he came ". Not much a scenario for sin and seduction.
So, no , I think you are NOT right to be upset. And I think that you may want to try and get better at keeping in check your jealousy and trust issues, because it could be your undoing . A bit of jealousy,men are flattered , and they like it. Micromanaging and paranoia, no- they inevitably get tired of it.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (20 October 2016):
 Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Seriously?
So, in your world, if you are married you should never dance with anyone else again? Even if their spouse is there and has no problem with it? Even if it is "twirling"?
He told you he "managed to get away" which would seem to indicate he was being polite and dancing until he could make his excuses without appearing rude. She then danced with other men.
Sweetheart, you need to lighten up. You are married to him; you don't OWN him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): No there isn't a fine line between friendliness, flirting and affairs. There's a great big line between talking to someone and having sex with them. If there was such a fine line most of us would be guilty of cheating. I don't see what there is to be upset about. Your bf had a dance with a woman in front of her husband and HE didn't have a problem with it so why should you? I often go out to see bands in pubs. People get a bit tipsy and drunkenly dance, flirt and have a bit of banter with each other but there's really nothing in it. I don't let anyone go to far and my partner's usually there so he just laughs along.What matters most is your bf behaviour. He was polite and had a (non sexy) dance with this woman then made it clear he had a gf so what more could you want? You can't expect him to spend his life ignoring every woman that talks to him as that would be unreasonable.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2016): The only thing is, there is a difference between salsa dancing and dancing when you have both been drinking in a pub . I know what some people can be like when they have a drink.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (20 October 2016):
 I don't equate dancing or "twirling" as emotionally cheating or even being inappropriate. Dancing doesn't HAVE to be intimate. Shoot I have salsa-danced with total strangers and it wasn't a big deal. It certainly wasn't an attempt to cheat or emotionally cheat. When the song was over you thanked your partner and either chose a new partner or kept dancing with the same one. It's dancing!
HER husband was right there and probably relieved that someone else was dancing with his wife, so HE didn't have to.
Of the 4 options you give :
"friendliness, flirting and affairs or emotional affairs"
I'd say him dancing with her was in the friendliness category. Which is WHY he told you about it.
I don't know, I just don't see the big deal here. AT ALL.
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