A
male
age
,
*yonsdown
writes:I've just had my 60th birthday.I feel very let down by 2 friends.Both sent me a brief text message on the day (one just said "happy birthday!" and nothing else).One of them hasn't phoned me or sent me a card (he's a male friend I've known for over 30 years).The other is a couple I've known for 35 years. They also sent me a text message. I met them 4 days after my birthday for dinner.They never brought a card, and never once mentioned my birthday- did I have a nice day, etc?i feel very let down by both sets of friends, and don't feel as though I can be bothered with them anymore.Am I overreacting?
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, eyeswideopen  +, writes (10 September 2019):
 Yeah I think you are overreacting. Birthdays are wayyy overrated. Your mother deserves the gifts and credits after all. Don't drop orr lose friends over non-issues. Oh and Happy Birthday
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (9 September 2019):
 My dad forgot my birthday this year, I cut him some slack because 1. I don't really do the whole hoopla over birthdays and 2. he is old. My husband has forgotten it a few times too but again, don't mean THAT much to me. It's ONE day out of the year.
A couple of my good friends DID wish me Happy Birthday and Belated Happy Birthday (lol) over text and I'm OK with that.
While I get that getting a card is nice, it's supposed to be "the thought that counts" - 1. they already SORTA celebrated your birthday on that dinner out and they ACTUALLY didn't forget your birthday.
If you prefer cards, then YOU be that person in your friendship circle who SENDS a card. OR.. you can do what seems to be the norm... and just send a text.
I'd let this go. I don't think they sent a text because they can't be bothered, I think it's just what a lot of people do these days.
...............................
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (9 September 2019):
 As someone who doesn't attach much importance to birthdays ("big" or otherwise), I am puzzled that a 60 year old man is that focused on a birthday. If I was one of your friends, you would have got a text from me if I remembered. The likelihood is I would have seen the reminder pop up on my phone (if I'd remembered to put it in), thought I would do something about it later, then forgotten all about it.
Why is acknowledgement of your birthday so important to you that you see it as a deal breaker if someone you've been friends with for decades does not make a big deal of it? Sweetheart, you are a grown man. If a child acted in this manner, I would sort of understand as birthdays are a big part of their lives and they have little else to worry about, but a 60 year old man? Seriously?
If that is your friends' biggest "misdemeanor", then they are very good friends and you should cherish them. If this is just part of a bigger picture, then that is a different story.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (9 September 2019):
 Overreacting, no I dont think so. Personally I think life long friend could have made a bit more of an effort. I dont believe in gift giving at my age however a phone call/card is not that much to ask. TXT is just so impersonal and two words, lazy IMHO. You dont mention if you invited them to your birthday dinner or not. If not, perhaps it is them that feel let down by you, hence the response, or lack of. Would I continue to be bothered with them- yes I would. If you enjoy whatever else it is they have to offer within the circle of friendship I wouldnt focus on this too much, brush it off and keep on keeping on.
...............................
|
