A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi all I’ve asked for advice before the same guy and found it really helpful so I was wondering if I could run this passed you also x So ... basically work together sometimes , he split from wife six months ago after bad times ... started sending messages then eventually asked me out to which I said “no I think it’s too soon for you “ I then said okay let’s go for drink a little while after and he agreed wasn’t ready which was absolutely fine . He then went from still chatting etc to suddenly nothing at all . I sent a hi message asking if was ok as something had obviously changed and he said that he was just concentrating on himself and son - which I totally understand . Thing is he went from texting constantly to zilch .... I don’t understand why you wouldn’t still text sometimes ??? It’s bizarre and to top off a colleague said about our works do “ oh yea Paul is single and ready to mingle now “ to which I felt sick because I thought “ oh it’s obviously just me you no longer like “ Weird because still something there when I occasionally bump into him ... I’m just going to carry on and leave him to it !!!! Sighhh
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019): That co-worker saying that he is single and ready to mingle might just be her running her mouth and stating an opinion. He probably SAID no such thing. Just her interpretation of events. I agree that it IS strange that he would go from lots of texting to none at all, if he is still interested. Maybe he felt you were blowing hot and cold and with everything he is contending with at the moment, he didn't feel as if he wanted to get involved with you. Maybe he agrees with your first response and realises it IS too soon for him and it's best for him to cut all ties with someone he has been flirting with. Whatever the reason, he HAS stopped contacting you, so nothing else you can do except get on with your life, accepting that you will probably never know why. Things may come to a head one day, when the timing is better.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (22 June 2019):
 If he was interested he would show it. Forget about this one and try to stick to dating people OUTSIDE the workplace, it rarely ends well.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 June 2019):
 Best to just leave him be.
He might "think" he is ready but in all likelihood he isn't. AT LEAST you won't be the rebound. Saying he is single and ready to mingle might just be him trying to sound confident.
Just chalk it up to a mistake, and next time... don't try and date coworkers.
And let's say it's JUST you he doesn't want to date or have anything to do with, OK - it happens. At least you didn't waste too much time on him.
Just hold you head up high, be professional at work and carry on as if he is JUST another coworker.
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