A
male
age
26-29,
*rBigShot110
writes:So I called her a few days after getting her message. I'll probably see her again at some point but the bottom line is she didn't answer and from what I've seen it's really a mixed bag when it comes to calling vs. texting. So, if she didn't answer me (I only called once, not planning on contacting this person again) and I'm just going to move on. I've talked to her a couple of times face to face but I've never really had a conversation with her. However she gave me her number so, yeah. We're both in our 20s I'm guessing but I'm sure nowadays I may have broken some sort of rule about calling. I wasn't trying to have a lengthy conversation, just wanted to see if she'd be up for doing something one day on the weekend. Oh well, I guess it's time to move on once again. What do you all think? Specifically the women in the audience... if a guy you'd spoken to face to face with a couple of times with and you gave him your number, would you be put off by him calling you one time? Like I said, I'm not going to press this person. It's not that serious, I just know that nowadays texting is the primary mode of communication (even though I'm young too). I guess I'm putting too much thought into this. She didn't answer, she must not be interested in talking, so I should probably just move on. Any advice? Should I text her in a couple of weeks or so?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 June 2019):
 If you WANT to talk to her, then shoot her a text saying:" hey, I tried calling you to see if you were up for doing XYZ (insert whatever plan you had) this weekend but I guess you were busy, maybe we can make plans for NEXT weekend if you are free".
I don't always answer a call (or text) right away. If I'm driving or doing other things, bathroom, shower, cooking or generally busy. It's not uncommon that people are BUSY. But for her to not even text you back later saying:" hey I missed your call, what's up?" Makes me think that she GAVE you her number because she didn't know how to tell you no, not really interested.
However, you won't be making ANY faux pas if you just shoot her a text like mentioned above. IF she doesn't get back to you via text then you can "FREELY" move on.
As a general rule of thumb, if a girl is not putting much effort INTO talking to you, she is more than likely not all that keen. Just polite.
I don't think calling someone is a bad thing. AT all. IF it's someone you want to talk to.
Up to you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019): I would be delighted if someone actually called for a change! It shows personality and confidence in my opinion.What would put ME off would be if I sent someone a message (like she sent to you) and I didn't get a reply for a FEW DAYS!!??I expect you were playing it cool, but by then I would be thinking that you were either playing games, too busy to put me at any kind of priority or a player. If you are still interested in seeing if this girl likes you and I think she must, otherwise she wouldn't have given you her number, I would contact her again. NOT in a couple of weeks, but NOW!. Why do you leave such a long time before getting in contact?? I have a partner and when we were getting together, he replied to me very quickly...ALWAYS on the same day, usually within a few minutes or an hour or so. It made me feel that I was important to him. If I messaged someone and then didn't hear for DAYS!!?? I would be too pissed off to reply when they finally got around to calling/texting. I wouldn't lower myself to seem interested in someone who had played so cool with me. But that's me.Text her and apologise for not being in touch with her sooner after getting her message. Say it would be great to meet up, would she like to go for a coffee or whatever. Do it now and see what happens. At least then you'll know.Good luck
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019): Did you also give her your number, and did she put it in her phone with your contact info so she would have known it was you calling? If yes, then yeah I’d move on, she is not all that interested. If you’re not comfortable with that then just ONE follow up text and that’s it. A text just saying “hi it’s [your name here] I called earlier to see if you are free on [date] to do [some activity].” The only reason I say one text follow up is ok is that some people, myself included, don’t like talking on the phone and would prefer a text. BUT I will also warn you that even though I’m not a phone talker, I would have picked up the phone if a guy I was interested in called me to talk or ask me out, and in fact I appreciated it when guys called in the beginning since texting is such a low effort move. So I applaud your initiative to call, and I don’t mean to discourage your choice to call rather than just text.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019): You called someone who didnt answer!
Why read anything into this at all?
You sound like a sensitive soul who really doesnt want to offend but with rules like yours you must feel bad.I think you're trying to pre-empt the concept that she may have blocked your number and to avoid this sort of embarressment you have decided to never call again.
I understand that there is always this unspoken rejection concept but if you had lived about 50 yrs ago you wouldnt give it a second thought.
In those days people walked long distances in bad weather to stand in a semi broken down public telephone box which had been previously used as a toilet by some desparate individual who should have found a bush to urinate behind.
But hang on, you are the generation that pulls a smart phone from your pocket and you whatsup anyone in the world for no charge or discomfort and you expect an instant reply!
Not only that you fear you have broken some unspoken ettiquette which has some how made you undesirable or socially fault ridden.
Has it ever crossed your mind it was just plain inconvenient for the person in question to answer.
eg she may have been in the bathroom!
In bed!
Not taking any calls!
At work!
Phone at bottom of bag.
Settings changed!
Phone not charged etc.
In fact it could be no reflection on you whatsoever.
And text or call? Who cares?
Its just a phone.
You just need a nice person who likes you in a certain way and when you get that off the ground please dont loose the plot or the love just for a nonanswered phone call.
Because there are millions of unanswered calls and still the trooper votes with his feet.
He visits!
He asks 'Are you o.k.?' &
He says 'Would you like to go out to the park on Saturday?
Or go get a beer on saturday night!'
And he doesnt pay any attention if she says she already has a man.
But if you want to know someone you dont give up entirely just for a missed call!
You text.
You ask same thing.
If you take a rejection take it loud and clear so you know you need to move on.
Hear it from the horses mouth.
Shrug, smile and say 'ok ..I didnt know you were already spoken for!'
And you go and find someone who is in the same boat as yourself.
Someone free and ready to get into a relationship.
And then you work your magic!
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2019): You called someone who didnt answer!
Why read anything into this at all?
You sound like a sensitive soul who really doesnt want to offend but with rules like yours you must feel bad.I think you're trying to pre-empt the concept that she may have blocked your number and to avoid this sort of embarressment you have decided to never call again.
I understand that there is always this unspoken rejection concept but if you had lived about 50 yrs ago you wouldnt give it a second thought.
In those days people walked long distances in bad weather to stand in a semi broken down public telephone box which had been previously used as a toilet by some desparate individual who should have found a bush to urinate behind.
But hang on, you are the generation that pulls a smart phone from your pocket and you whatsup anyone in the world for no charge or discomfort and you expect an instant reply!
Not only that you fear you have broken some unspoken ettiquette which has some how made you undesirable or socially fault ridden.
Has it ever crossed your mind it was just plain inconvenient for the person in question to answer.
eg she may have been in the bathroom!
In bed!
Not taking any calls!
At work!
Phone at bottom of bag.
Settings changed!
Phone not charged etc.
In fact it could be no reflection on you whatsoever.
And text or call? Who cares?
Its just a phone.
You just need a nice person who likes you in a certain way and when you get that off the ground please dont loose the plot or the love just for a nonanswered phone call.
Because there are millions of unanswered calls and still the trooper votes with his feet.
He visits!
He asks 'Are you o.k.?' &
He says 'Would you like to go out to the park on Saturday?
Or go get a beer on saturday night!'
And he doesnt pay any attention if she says she already has a man.
But if you want to know someone you dont give up entirely just for a missed call!
You text.
You ask same thing.
If you take a rejection take it loud and clear so you know you need to move on.
Hear it from the horses mouth.
Shrug, smile and say 'ok ..I didnt know you were already spoken for!'
And you go and find someone who is in the same boat as yourself.
Someone free and ready to get into a relationship.
And then you work your magic!
...............................
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