A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have feelings for a girl a work. We kind of flirt about (nothing really suggestive just jokey) to the extent that a number of people have made suggestions over the last few years including at one point one of her friends saying didn’t I realise that she was into me. Unfortunately though having asked her out she said no – saying she wasn’t sure about a work thing, but gave me her mobile number in case the situation ever changed. I gave her mine in case she changed her mind. Whenever I took a day off she would text to see what I was up to – things at work are not great so most people have been looking for new jobs. I think I probably read too much into this (and other things she has said)as she is a bit nosey(understatement!!). I was given a job offer recently (not enough$$ to take though) and she sent a text saying how it would be go for me but bad for her if I got the job. I know she meant this in a nice way, but I also took it as a “we are friends that’s all” message. Since this she hasn’t texted me again. We still joke around at work though I have noticed that in the past if out she would make a point of walking with me but now tends not to. I feel a bit deflated by the whole thing that I miss read things so much, though I guess from the things co-workers have said that I wasn’t the only one. Even last week when she called me over to her desk to discuss some work one of the other girls added in a joking “I love you” as she called my name. As usual when people say this stuff she just looks at me and shook her head. I am surprised it has done my head in so much. One of her friends thinks she is fond of me and has feelings for me, but probably not in the right way. She also said she doesn’t like risk and she hasn’t known her to have a boyfriend. I know I need to move on but I am having trouble – not helped by people at work telling me how great she is and how she needs a boyfriend. I also think my ego has taken a hit as she laments being single and is doing some blind date thing which doesn’t make me feel too great that this is preferable than seeing if we would work together. Not really sure what I should do - neither of us are great about talking about this stuff.
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