A
female
age
41-50,
*inkydink
writes:Hi GuysLooking for a bit of advice, sorry if its long winded.Basically I have been good friends with this guy for nearly ten years, and during this time I have been married and divorced, and he is now engaged. It has always (apparently) been obvious that he likes me, and if I am honest I have always had supressed feeling for him, due to the fact I have been with someone else for all this time. He has always flirted with me, such as lots of eye contact, a great confidant, soft touches (although not inappropriate), interested in me, and sometimes suggestive talking, although said in humour if you know what I mean.However, I have recently split from my husband, and my feeling have cme to the surface. I realise that I have strong feelings for this guy, but I am confused as he is engaged, and obviously dont want to endanger his relationshipHe has been havng probs in the relationship as we talked about it alot and my problems too. I am sure he flirts outrageously, as it is qiuite obvious at times, but really seems to respect me too and likes me for who I amMy question is, how can i tell if he has feelings for me, or if I am indeed imagining it! My best female friend has always said he has a thing for me, but I am worried we have all got it wrong!Please help. Thankyou very much x
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female
reader, Rinkydink +, writes (11 March 2010):
Rinkydink is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for all your reples. I sometimes think that he is into me, and at other times not at all. However, we do have some really good discussions and he is always keen to talk to me and touch me, so maybe I will just have to wait and see. Thanks again x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2010): It sounds to me like he has a thing for you. I rarely touch girls who I'm not interested in. It's a comfort thing. Breaking the "touch barrier" is a big step.
You should ask yourself what is causing the connection? Is it deep enough to risk the frienship?
I have to say that I'm in the Harry camp from "When Harry met Sally." Men don't befriend women they aren't interested in sexually. Sure, work or other things can make you "friends." But I consider them more acquaintences than friends. A friend is someone who I would seek to hang out with if we didn't have that shared common ground.
It doesn't matter if she's in a relationship, that only affects if I go for it or not.
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A
female
reader, Rinkydink +, writes (25 February 2010):
Rinkydink is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks Guys, your replies and advice are much appreciated. I know its a difficult thing to pinpoint, but mayb I just need to go with the flow and not look too much into it. I just cant help how I feel though.Today at work, I couldnt fathom him out. On one hand he was flirtatious, saying various innuendos, and at one point as I stretched made a jokey attempt to touch my breast, and i said "oi!" to which he replied "did you say "oi" or "ooh"! He also noticed that I had had my hair done! He also touched my shoulder and back briefly whilst describing some exercises to build up muscle. OMG I sound like a school girl dont I?On the other hand, sometimes he looked away uncomfortably if our eyes locked for too long, as if to pull himself together, if you know what I mean?Aargh its so frustrating. Thanks again for your replies
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (24 February 2010):
If he really has feelings for you, not that you're single he will come to you. Do not tell him, because it's more likely he'll just use you both. If he has a thing, if he likes you that much, he will come. If not, then he doesn't like you as much as you think. He must come to you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2010): I say tell him, what do you have to lose? It's up to him if he wants to end things in his relationship for the chance to be with you, but you have to know you're willing to give it a go if he does end it for you. Men are pretty transparent when it comes to their feelings toward women. I know that the girls in my office have picked up on my crush and tease me about it relentlessly. Maybe I'm more transparent than others, I don't know. But if your friend is seeing the same thing you are, chances are good there is something there.
Regardless of how this may make me sound, I would have dropped my (now ex) GF in a heartbeat if my "crush" would have expressed interest. Sometimes guys get into relationships of convenience, but are willing to give that up if something better or deeper comes along.
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