A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I am new at all of this since my husband died early this year. I guess I just do not know how to read men and if something is "flirting" or not. So like I said, I have been through quite a rough patch losing my husband unexpectedly in February and the my mother in June. I have two young boys, and I guess my priority has been tending to their needs, but recently I have felt lonely in a sense and I wonder if I am just "seeing" things that are not there. So here is the situation. My son has a new coach this year and he is aware,of course, of the recent happenings in our family. He is really good looking and seems rather genuine and sweet. What is bringing me here is that I notice he always makes a point to talk to me to see how I am. He doesn't really speak to the other parents at all. He also sends me texts about upcoming events (and not to any other parents) but follows always with "How are you". It is as though he initiates a text conversation and we kinda chat a little. When I said I had to go because I was going out he asked where? Then later texted me telling me he hopes I am having a good time. It is weird to me because he lives with his gf and she has a daughter that is not his, but he really seems to feel for this little girl. but I saw the gf and I was shocked because she was nothing, I mean nothing to look at--I couldn't put it together for the life of me. Then I find myself wondering if he is kinda flirting with me or just being nice. I know I am attractive/striking and outgoing--I am not arrogant believe me, but I recognize that when looking at the other team moms- I am youthful, fun, and arsty pretty. I just don't know how to read him.
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female
reader, angela75 +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Men do expect women to exhibit some sibylline behavior so not being straight-forward is okay but only to a point. Some shyness, indecisiveness, and even timidity is acceptable but again, only up to a point. Once you get to know him and he has earned a measure of your trust, he expects you to calm down and relax. The time has then come for you to ’step up’ and enter a relationship or to ’step off’ and decline his offer of a relationship.
there are some excellent articles on this.you can read and get a clear concept of your problem.it is http://ishemarried.org/articles/164/relationship-advice-for-women-flirting/
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 September 2010):
 not sure if it is flirting, but he sure is close to overstepping some boundaries. if he was single, this could be a friendly chatting that could turn to flirting if you engaged in it, but it could also just be friendly. maybe he acts this way to be nice to you because of your loss. but seeing as he has a girlfriend it is not fitting to give you alot of attention or even flirt. I suggest you try and write this off as non-flirting, and then if he appears to get clingy tell him to cool down. Flirting or not flirting, it can come off the wrong way, it even has you wondering. It will surely have others wondering too, and you really don't want to be involved in a mess.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (4 September 2010): You have been through the mill recently haven't you!It is very confusing when you sort of get a feeling, but at the same time, don't want to imagine anything which might not be there.He may be picking up that you are a little vulnerable,or he may just be being polite and friendly.Of course he may also think you are fantastic!!Still doesn't help does it???You could always read some 'body language of attraction in men' sites on here, they helped me a lot when I was in a similar situation.What you will need to do though, is decide to yourself if you would actually go for something with him, as you say he is spoken for at the moment.When you have read up on some sites, if you decide you like him too, you will have to hint that you like him, or even tell him.Look for sites with questions like,'How to tell if he attracted to me''How to tell if he likes me romantically'Remember though, body language signals can give you hints and even definite ideas that he likes you, but they can't tell you if he would act on it.Some men do give out subconcious signals of attraction to lots of women at the same time, apparently it's in their genes!Also some men just like to be extra friendly with ladies in general. This one is spoken for so be careful that you don't get taken in by someone who just wants a fling, you have been through enough already this year.Good luck for the future, I hope you find someone who loves you again!!
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A
female
reader, shapoopsy +, writes (4 September 2010):
 Hello! He seems to be flirting with you! It's a bummer that he has a lady friend because it was sounding so good! He is in the beginning stages of pursuing you for sex, which leads me to believe he's a pretty rotten person to be in a committed relationship and is willing to cause serious emotional harm to widow.
He pumped up your ego with the compliment of his attention! Thank him. Then, kick him to the curb! ~Shapoopsy
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