A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been with my bf over a month now met over the internet. i'm 24 , hes 25.Everything is going, treats me like a queen. We've been on two weekends away (already i know) and met up in between. Thing is he normally msgs me every morning, will call or he calls me whn walking to work. i call him after work around 6ish and he calls me before we sleep.First time in a month he did none of that on wednesday. So i called him, no answer, he called me-no answer. thats it. Thursday same, so lunch time i called him, he said how he had gone out the night before with old work colleagues but why not talk all day?We made up thursday night, spoke etc and he wants to go abroad with me be it weekend i.e amsterdam and he hasn't been abroad or weekend away before with his ex's.The decent part not the red districtToday we spoke and i said how we don't talk any more as much as we did and i asked why he didn;t talk wednesday. He said that sometimes i should call/msg him first. I explained how i don't want to seem pushy.He said he will rectify it and will sort it out.But now when i called him, hes out driving and text saying hes outside and will call me later,kiss.Am i just being paranoid? my first bf cheated on me, second one was married but didn't tell me that! and now i am just scared.views please x
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (10 November 2014):
 sounds like paranoia to me.
couples who are committed do NOT need to be in touch 24/7 nor do they have to have daily contact.
when my husband and I were dating LDR I wanted more contact than he did. We talked about it. I had to learn that him not contacting me first did not mean he didn't want to talk to me... he might be sleeping, or shopping or working or out with friends or something.
Once we got serious (about 4 months into our LDR) we worked out a system that for most days worked for us
I called him at 8 am to wake him (his request) this call lasted anywhere from 3 seconds to 2 minutes
I called him at my bedtime (anywhere after 9:30 till 11) and that call could go 2 minutes or two hours...
by this time we were spending most weekends together too.
we also to this day email more than any thing else.
it's early on.... pay attention to things but don't make snap judgements and don't punish a new guy for the sins of an old ex boyfriend.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2014): I really think it could be your paranoia.
There is no concrete evidence to support he is cheating.
Just try not to mistrust him too much or question him too much or you will seem too clingy and drive him away.
That does not mean close your eyes and be blind. Keep your eyes open. But try to trust him in the meantime. You will probably know if something really jumps out at you. If nothing does, it means it is you worrying too much right now.
Trust but always be aware.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2014): several times a day after a month can be a full on, especially over the longer term.
There will always be that initial attraction, that will die down a little.
A month is still early, speaking once every couple of days would still be completely fine I think. I wouldn't worry too much at this stage. I'd place a lot more on how he acts when with you.
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A
female
reader, KC12 +, writes (9 November 2014):
 I don't necessarily thing it means cheating, but it could mean there is an altogether different issue.
It could be a simple communication issue between the two of you. He wants you to initiate communication...that's why he's pulling back. To gauge your interest in him. (Guys and girls alike tend to play that card).
Or it could just be that he is trying to slow things down and that it's moving too fast for him...
Regardless you two need to get "on the same page" and communicate to each other. It sounds like things can be worked out, and I hope for your sake that it can.
Best of luck to you.
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