A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So, I used to work in hospitality and actually met my ex there. He's a great guy but we just weren't compatible so we broke up months ago but we stayed friends from a distance, rarely talking and never seeing each other. Now, I also met "Tee" there and she and I became friends. Yesterday, the ex calls me to say that he hoped I'd be happy with my new boyfriend even though he was a "nerd." I asked him to explain himself and he told me that Tee had told him about my current bf etc. I was livid! My current bf was nothing but nice to her upon meeting her and he had felt really nervous, hoping that she'd like him. She said other things apparently but I didn't want to know more. My ex is very honest and blunt and I've never known him to mince words etc. But I've witnessed her lying before and gossiping. What infuriates me is that although the ex and I are "friends" we did have a dispute two days before all this that she was privy to. i wasn't on great terms with him and yet, she felt more than comfortable sharing personal details about me to him. In any case, to stop myself from saying things I'd regret, I texted her to let her know I wasn't happy and I needed time to myself when she asked me to hang out. I don't think I can be her friend anymore. Am I overreacting?
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female
reader, Tottochan  +, writes (2 October 2015):
Hello there,That's really strange. It seems to me like this friend, Tee, likes to gossip. That's not the trait of a good friend. Especially if they're gossipping about you or someone important to you, to someone else.First, I have to ask - how close were you and Tee? If it was a very close relationship, then what she did is a breach of trust. But if you were close, then I think you ought to have to have a talk with her about her behaviour. And try and see things from her viewpoint. That is, if you guys were close, then I suggest trying to salvage the friendship.But I do not feel you are over-reacting at all. I would have felt the same, and probably done worse, if I were in your shoes. If you are not that close, I feel that the faster you get rid of this possibly toxic relationship, the better.Do you think that maybe she has a soft corner for the ex, and that is why she was trying to get in his good books by bad mouthing your current boyfriend? I don't know, but take a call depending on how important this relationship is to you.All the very best. Be with people that truly care for you, and for whom you truly care for.
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