A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:After being separated for a few years my husband decided he wants to fix things. He decided this after I told him I don't want him coming up to my home anymore to see the kids. That he can take them to his. At first he agreed, but then the next day he told me he wants us to be a family and wants to fix things. It's been a month now and he hasn't even asked me out on a date, he doesn't send me text messages to see how I am or when he does, he never says darling or Hun in them or ends them with a kiss. He doesn't show me any signs that he really wants this. He said he wants to take it slow but shouldn't he at least be cuddling me by now and maybe giving me a kiss on the cheek when he leaves? I'm so confused and I don't know if it's me being impatient or if I'm right in thinking he doesn't really want this ??
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 October 2015): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your answers. I really appreciate them. I've never been in a relationship since he left as I've always been totally I love with him and have waited for this day for years. He says he hasn't been in an other relationship either, but it sure if I believe that. But we weren't together at the time, so what I don't know can't hurt me. In the time we have been separated he has come to mine almost everyday. He's being distant because in the past I hurt him emotionally. I wasn't a very nice person. Things are different now and I got help. I'm guessing maybe he doesn't want to be too loving because he's still worried I might change back. I know he knows I've changed. But I guess he'll never trust that 100%. I hope he gives me the chance to show him how much I really do love him. I sort of deserve this ( you know, what goes around, comes around ) but I have paid for my sins. I'm a good person now and he's great and we both deserve this and so do our children. I think I'm just being impatient because I just want things to be the way they should have been in the first place. I hope they can b. But I know I need to take a step back and let things happen at his pace. I really do want this to work. Thanks again. x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 October 2015): It sounds like you & he are just miscommunicating about your expectations. You have things that you expect him to do in order to show that he wants to get back together, and he may not know about any of it.
He is a guy and probably thinks saying it to you is all that it takes to let you know he wants to work it out. Men sometimes communicate that way.
I think you should have a talk, and discuss what both of you expect from each other if you try to start a new relationship together. Tell him that you want him to date you again, and show interest physically & emotionally, like you wrote in your post. Let him tell you what his expectations are and what he is comfortable with. What does "take it slow" mean to him? How long do you do this? Are you both no longer seeing other people? Get all the stuff out on the table & see if you can put a puzzle together.
I hope it will help. best of luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (1 October 2015):
 It could be because he dated someone else and she's not happy with the fact that he's still not married and dumped him. So your husband wants to try your luck with you again. I understand taking it slow but for this to work, the love has to be there. Can't just take the family back for the convenience. the separation was there for you to determine if you should split forever, or remained married forever. Some people don't do well with mini break ups while others realize they could not live without the other person. You were expecting a yearning feeling, missing you and promising how this time it would work out. It's possible that he has a different style. You know him better. Maybe he wants to make sure this time around it would work forever before investing feelings. If he is a practical person that may be the case. It takes two people to fix things so I guess you can help by giving him hope and how much you want this too. First determine if the problem that caused the separation could be solved. Then do the things that bring back sweet memories. Now he doesn't know how to act with you. It has been years and his confidence was possibly shot down from the separation. Think of something nostalgic to remind you of the special bond you had, and why you still love each other.
...............................
|
