A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:It's our 2 year anniversary today and I must say, im disappointed with my bfs efforts. He knows I'm the romantic type and our first anniversary was so romantic, he took me to dinner, brought me two bracelets (one engraved) and we got matching tattoos. Now I know this is hard to match and I didn't expect as much this year, especially because we moved out together and have less money. But tonight he brought all the ingredients to make pizza together at home ( which is gay because I cook every night and it was worse cuz we live in a share house so no privacy!). After that we drove up the road to a cafe to have coffee. He gave me a collage of pictures he made ( no card or letter) then we went home to watch a movie. I try to initiate sex he's like, oh babe I'm so tired and he goes to bed! Are you kidding me!! Every other night he's soo keen.... I tell you what I'm so hurt that this means so little to him. And yes, I did get him a present, I got him designer cufflinks, a hand made card and customised cupcakes for our dessert! I guess I wanted something more meaningful, something I could keep and remember. I dont know, what do you guys think? Do I have a right to be annoyed?
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anniversary, money, moved out, tattoo Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Look at I from his POV. He got some cufflinks, a card and cupcakes. And a moody-ass girlfriend
He got you a collage (which he made) & bought ingredients to make a pizza
You both practically got the same things
(pizza & cupcakes, card & collage)
Anniversaries aren't about how much money is spent on one another; not for me anyway; it's about spending time with the one you love!
A
female
reader, amenthyst3356  +, writes (7 July 2011):
I think his gift was absolutely romantic and wonderful. He wanted to spend an activity with you and show you that he really loves you. Personally I think his gift was the best and I would take his over yours any day. It's not the money its the experience that brings love. Never forget that I know you probably saved a lot to get the gift but his came from his heart. Wake up you are one lucky woman.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Woahhhh!!! You are majorly high-maintenence, I mean it's not like you're even married!
I totally agree with the others, he has made loads of effort!
Honestly you are in the wrong, and I am concerned that you actually feel hurt by his er, actions?
He sounds like a great bf. Get a grip girlfriend!!
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (7 July 2011):
 he made an effort. he made a collage, he purchased food so you could share an activity, you spent time together, he acknowledged the anni.... i think you are overreacting. he is probably a bit worried about funds... and trying to be frugal.
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A
female
reader, jesca86  +, writes (7 July 2011):
 Crikey! You are a hard one to please.If my fella went to the effort of making a collage of pictures I'd be over the moon! Any one can walk in to a shop and buy a gift or two but putting thought and effort in to MAKING something for you is amazing!!Perhaps the reason he refused the intimacy is because he probably felt a little deflated because I doubt you hid your disappointment very well and he was probably quite hurt about it thus not being in the mood for sex!I would recommend that you swallow your pride and thank him for the lovely night and the lovely collage he'd made instead of coming across as selfish and materialistic. Don't forget, there's not many men that are romantic etc, men aren't always as sentimental as us and I personally think you're really lucky that he made such an effort like that!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 July 2011): Well after two years I guess he doesn't know you that well if you turned out disapointed and annoyed on your anniversary. I do think you are overreacting. He wasn't thinking about how fancy it was. He was enjoying spending time with you. And that's all that matters is you two being together, not the fancy gifts and dinner. Be glad that he didn't forget and he cared enough to try and be glad he's still with you. We don't find someone that special overnight.
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A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (7 July 2011):
I would have thought that a collage of pictures which he made would count as something meaningful that you could keep and remember?
Did you make it clear in advance that you actually wanted to do something special on the anniversary? It doesn't sound like either of you made an effort to have a special night, so if the evening wasn't all you were expecting I would argue that it's just as much your responsibility as his. I wouldn't expect to be taken out by my bf, I prefer a 50/50 arrangement as that is how relationships should work. What would you rather have done? And did you try and make alternative plans when you weren't happy with the evening? I don't think you really have a right to be annoyed as you could have organised something if you were that keen to make it a special night.
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