A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:So, my boyfriend of one year is going out of town to take a test. While he is up there his friend who lives nearby may come visit him. The problem is she is a woman. He told me about it and I appreciated that but I asked if she knew he was dating someone. He said he told her he was and her response was that if I was going with him them she doesn't have to visit him. I am concerned about her intentions but it may not be a big deal. He knows how I feel and he said that he feels weird saying "no" but also feels weird saying "yes." He said that she wouldn't be staying with him and he gives me no reason to be suspicious but I can't help to feel uneasy about the whole situation. Am I overreacting or do I just need to trust him more? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): He has been open with you about it and told her about you, which he might not if he was cheating. He is also being careful not to have her stay over. There are no guarantees in life but I would be inclined to trust him.
She may have suggested not visiting him out of consideration for you.
It might also be good if you could meet the friend at some time.
A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 You will have anxieties and doubts in your mind.You cannot help it. If his love for you is strong, he will not do anything that you would not like. You need to learn to trust and have faith in him.Don't worry too much. If you love him ,you have to let him go.
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A
male
reader, Collaroy  +, writes (18 January 2008):
 Hi,
He told you about it as he wanted to show you he loves you and can be trusted. Relationships are all about trust, if you truly love your boyfriend you should also trust him. There will be times in your life where your boyfriend is going to be alone with woman - even attractive woman - it is a bad place to be if you think every time this happens he is going to end up having sex with them. The same can be said for you, you will end up being alone with men, your boyfriend could have the same perspective.
Just trust him to do the right thing. If this girl is someone who previously had a thing for him , or they had a thing for each other in the past, you have a right to question what she is doing wanting to catch up with him again. And if its her doing all the planning and he is just trying to be nice to not hurt her feelings, then sure tell him it is going to make you feel very uncomfortable knowing that this girl wants to rekindle an old flame .
Otherwise trust your boyfriend's judgment.
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