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female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have been with my partner for 6 years and have a child together. Recentlty after sex he shocked me by wiping his penis with a tissue then taking a remaining pea sized amount of sperm off his penis and putting it in his mouth. I find this weird and sickening. I have questioned him about it but he says he didn't 'have anything to wipe it on END OF STORY'. I have tried to argue that excuses are not necessary and if it's something he likes to do tell me! I don't think i can continue in this relatinoships as it grosses me out and i can barely look at him! Am I overreacting, is it abnormal?
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2008): Maybe he was just curious as to how he tasted. It would have been better if he had done this in private (like after masturbating). I think I too may have been freaked out seeing my partner do something like that.
I used to be bothered by my fiance going down on me AFTER he had had an orgasm inside me. I would ask him to stop, asking him wasn't it gross, but he would just say "it's us together, what could be wrong with that" and continue on. It no longer bothers me now. And I am very sure he has no desire to be with another man or taste another man!
Sometimes he kisses me after he has gone down on me, and I can taste and smell myself in and around his mouth, and it actually is a turn-on. I am sure there are just as many other women who would be grossed out by this as would be turned on by this.
One time after touching myself in private, I put my finger in my mouth, b/c I was curious as to what I tasted like. I don't think I've done it since. It was just a matter of curiousity, is all. Maybe that's all it was with your bf.
I would say what he did is not typical, but I don't think it's a big deal. Not worth giving up everything else you have with him. Try talking about it openly and without judgement nor anger, when you are feeling calm. Try to approach it from a standpoint of curiousity. Maybe by talking freely and openly, he will give you a better understanding of what happened, and that might make you feel better about the whole thing.
It was probably nothing and probably doesn't mean anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Well, I find it kinda gross too, but if I were in your shoes, I'd just try and accept it, and not make such a big deal out of it..I mean, you've been together for 6 years, and you want to give everything you've built together and raise your child alone over such a trivial thing? And from what I understand it's only happened once, can't you try to be a little more flexible, and just accept it and move on..If it happens again, just discuss it, tell him you hate it, and ask him to go to the bathroom to clean up if he feels the need..Godd luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): I eat my own skin... it's normal! You are over-reacting, this is a stupid reason to leave someone especially after 6 years and a child together! He probably didn't tell you because he finds it embarrassing! If you left him, you'd probably end up regretting it.
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female
reader, SoftlyCaress  +, writes (14 December 2008):
 Well It would probably make me feel weird to see him doing that or even think he may have some wild fantasy and I dont think it includes a woman I would definitely step back and take a second look at who he really is .
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): I do it quite often. Some girls swallow the stuff, so its not dangerous. What is normal anyway? Do's and Dont's that were drilled into you as a child. Its been said before that if it grosses you out then you either leave him or get over it and carry on. You should talk to him about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2008): Normal... it's his body and it's his sperm, it's not very common, but there is nothing wrong with it. It doesn't make him evil, sick or bad. We hear much worse things here on Dear Cupid. Some guys even manage to give themselves oral sex, but I'm not sure how they do it.
If it disgusts you, then of course you must leave him. Many people have strange habits, we are all unique and brought up differently. As long as it's not harmful or illegal, what harm dose it cause you or your relationship? Women don't mind semen, so why should a man?
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