A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am I overly paranoid about guys? I've met a lot of different people and made a lot of new friends in the past few months, but I've notice that I've become more "standoffish" towards some guys. Mainly when guys ask me random questions, I ask them why they're asking that, ect. For example, there was a guy who asked me what I thought about life. He wasn't really doing anything bad, but I was still using a somewhat "hostile" tone. He kept looking over at me and when he offered me fruit I jokingly asked "did you do anything to this?"Another would be my friend who likes to make sexual jokes towards towards me and tries to find excuses to touch me. I usually get mad at him about these things. I'm not the only one he does this to, but he seems to prefer me to the other girls in the group (or maybe I just don't pay enough attention).Then there's a guy I met only a few days ago who's been asking me a bunch of personal questions, repeatedly asking for me to hang out with him, and paying me (for the most part unwanted) compliments. He tried inviting himself over.I'm not sure if there's reason to get so agitated over these guys, or if they're really not doing anything out of the ordinary... Any feedback would be lovely Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (10 May 2012):
Hi there. It depends on what you would like guys to say to you, I guess.
One thing is for sure though, if a guy is shy, he may ask some seemingly peculiar questions sometimes, and that is because of his shyness and probably not really knowing what to say to start up some kind of conversation with you.
So don't be offended by it, as they are probably trying to find their way.
And it also depends on what you want, as well.
When they ask what you consider to be "personal" questions, they are probably simply trying to find some common ground to share with you and then get to know you a bit better.
As the other poster said here, if you do keep on acting hostile towards all comments or what you consider to be personal questions, well then you are never going to build a rapport with any man!
You don't let people in, you shut them out altogether.
Or at least, so it seems.
Just so long as a guy isn't asking you very very personal questions where you believe they have overstepped the line a little, well then most questions are probably quite reasonable and you ought to politely and respectfully answer them.
By answering some questions as least, it gives another person a chance to get to know you.
Otherwise you are pushing everyone right away.
And that's probably not what you really want as it can become very lonely for you, as a result.
The other option of course, is if you don't want to talk to them at all, don't put yourself in situations where they are there in the first place.
You always have a choice about everything. We all do.
You have that control - if you want it, that is.
A
male
reader, The Realist  +, writes (9 May 2012):
 I think that you are over reacting to these guys and it is most likely turning them off of you. Personal and random questions are just a way to try and make conversation with someone new. From what I see here these guys are hitting on you including your friend who is trying to be playful because he is comfortable with you. It's not a bad thing but if you act so harshly back to them eventually guys will stop trying. The last guy you mention obviously wanted a date with you. This is just what guys do and it seems like you get quite a bit of attention which isn't a bad thing. Also are they really unwanted compliments. I mean as long as they aren't creepy isn't it nice to hear stuff like that.
...............................
|
