A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My fiancee lives 4 hrs away and has not talked to me or chatted with me for over a week. I haven't seen him for a month. He didn't even call me on the weekend or during weeknights. Usually we chat online, but his sister is in town for the next 2 weeks so he spends time with her after work and doesn't come home or comes home late. I asked him to call me, and he said it would have to be after 10 PM, and that a "better option" would be this Sat when he sees me because he is really busy at work. The thing is, he's said he'd come down for the past month and hasnt due to work/weather/health so I don't trust that he'll come down this weekend anyhow. Another thing is that even though he's busy at work, I don't believe he is working ALL THE TIME after work, and does he have to spend the bulk of his evening with his sister every single night? His sister's 40-something, it's not like she needs to be taken care of. He earlier said sorry he can't chat, and asked if Email was ok, to which I said not really. Am I overreacting here? I find it funny that we're engaged, sure doesn't feel like it and sometimes I seriously wonder if I should postpone it because I feel like we don't understand each other.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008): I think you need to pay him a visit. If he is so busy with work, then you should go visit him where he lives. This will enable you to determine exactly what is going on with him.
I find it unusual that he would also be spending so much time with his sister. Do you know if they have a close relationship? Is she younger or older? I wonder if he might be having some kind of secret "taboo" relationship with her.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 February 2008): I don't see the point in you both been 2getha if you don't communicate or actually see each other . . thats not a relationship!!
I think you should move on and find someone who you will be happier with.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 February 2008): This is not a relationship that is working for you, so don't put up with this. His needs are being met and you are basically working around his life, but he isn't compromising for you or, putting any of your needs or desires up at the top of HIS list.
I have no idea how old he is but why is his sister a focus? Are they so close that he can't have a sister and fiance?
When did you get engaged? Was the engagement before he moved so that YOU would not find someone to date or was it out of love and committment?
I would stop, turn and run away from a selfish person like this. If this is the romantic side of life, imagine what it will be like when married a few years and he has excuses as to why he isn't home and you are stuck at home with kids.
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A
female
reader, Serinity +, writes (6 February 2008):
 If you have any doubts what-so-ever I would definitely postpone the wedding until you've resolved your issues. If you feel neglected now what do you think is going to happen when you get married and he's in his "comfort zone"? You don't think he's cheating on you do you? I hope not. I would definitely clear the air befor you tie the knot. Good luck sweetie!
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