A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i dont mind my bf watching porn, but i dont like it wen he looks at pictures of naked women as this leads to him obviously fantasiing about them. he promised me he wouldnt look at pictures like that, but the other day i found pictures of naked models under his pillow and it really upset me. ive spoken to him about it a lot of times and he still done it. it really hurt me, should i mind, am i just over reacting??
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female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (18 April 2008):
 This guy seems a bit infantile by having naked pictures of naked girls under his pillow. Tell him to stop or he is history.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): I'm trying to understand your rationalization here. Naked girls are naked girls...in porn or in photos, aren't they? Either way, he's getting off on both. I can somewhat understand a single, unattached man viewing porn, looking at pics, but a guy in a committed relationship?? I live by the credo "You can't get stepped on if you aren't laying down" so you need to set some clear, tough boundries here in this relationship or grt rid of him. You have a voice, so use it-clearly and firmly. For any relationship to work, it takes two. He is half of this relationship and he's doing something, that is making you feel horridly under-valued. People in healthy relationships don't do this to each other. Make him accountable for his role, in causing you pain. I recommend sitting him down and talking to him about what these pics and porn is doing to this relationship and what is being lost.
He needs to learn to refocus on you and this relationship. If he can't, maybe you should re-evaluate this relationship's solidity and get out of it. Not all guys view porn...don't get wrapped in that notion, although many will argue on that point. There are some great guys out there, who can commit without bringing porn in the relationship. Take care
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A
female
reader, Dawnie +, writes (17 April 2008):
 Well the porn is not unusual as many people enjoy this but putting pictures of naked women under his pillow? that seems a little over the top and i can understand you being hurt. Tell him how you feel.
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A
female
reader, lets_party +, writes (17 April 2008):
 do u feel that if he looks at video maks it un real but if he looks at a hard coppie of naked girl makes it more real?? xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell porn is different. i understand why someone would like porn, as it shows sex and he would fin it sexually arousing to see someone having sex. but if hes looking at naked girls, this means that he finds them attractive and he fantasizes about having sex with them
:(
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 April 2008): Honey, how come you mind him looking at naked girls, but not at porn? Porn IS naked girls. Whats the point at watching the videos but not the pictures? I don't understand that. They're pretty much the same.
You have every right to be mad. If it was me, I'd have steam coming out my ears, but I'm very protective over my boyfriend watching porn. I really wouldn't like it if he did.
I think the problem here is you're sending him mixed messages. One minute you say he can watch porn, but not naked girls. He's confused. Confused and horny. If you really don't like this, then tell him again. But by the sounds of it, this is turning into an addiction for him as he's actually sleeping with it under his pillow. Before long, he's going to need professional help. If I was you, I'd end this relationship before it goes any further. He's obviously not willing to give this addiction of porn up for you, so to be honest, I doubt he loves you as much as you deserve to be loved. Tell him again you hate it, and threaten to end the relationship. If he still carries on, even in secret, then run a million miles. He's bad news.
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