A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:I never dated after my divorce until 2 years later I met this woman who was out of her divorce for a bout a year. We clicked instantaneously. The chemistry between us was unlike anything either of us had encountered in the past. The main stumbling block between us was our kids as blending families of children who were so different; and she wanted to have another child and I really didn't. We never had a fight. We always discussed things lovingly and broke a few times but got back together many times. This lasted for 4 years. We both knew we would not be getting married. So one day, we had lunch together, after that I don't know why but I decided not to call her until she called. She did not call that day or the next. Months passed neither of us called the other. We did not break up but simply did not call each other. Four months later I started going out with someone else. Two weeks after that I found out on Facebook that the woman I had dated for four years (which is now my ex) is engaged. She had met him two months after we silently broke up. Few months later she got married. She found out after she was married that I too was dating someone for some time. She then abruptly unfriended me on Facebook. I am not sure what she did that as there ever was any bad blood between us. We never communicated during all this period. Few months after that she was expecting. She now has a beautiful baby. We do occasionally run into each other as we blong to the same church. Often we just say hello to each other with a smile, or some very small talk. Her husband is always with her and I can tell he is not comfortable to see me or even say hello to his wife. But he is very nice and cordial as well.3 years has since passed since we broke up. I have had several dreams of her. In one dream she was sitting in a room on a chair and not paying any attention to anyone including me as she was very busy writing page after page. When she finished writing she came towards me handed me all the papers and left the room without saying a word. My own interpretation is that she was wants to talk to me about something but she can't because she is very highly ethical and does not think appropriate to engage in a conversation with me for her husband's sake.Am I still in love with her if I keep thinking and dreaming about her? Does she still have feelings for me? I wish her well and don't see myself with her in the future. I just wonder if she cares about me still or why she unfriended me.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2010): I have moved on. But I keep having these dreams that I cannot help. One thing that we both really wanted and discussed many times was our mutual friendship after a break up. It was very precious to both of us. That alas did not happen. I do miss our friendship as I know she does too.
A
female
reader, FloridaCatGirl +, writes (28 November 2010):
 It sounds like you still have feelings this woman, so you are hoping she feels the same way. You are living in fantasy land. This woman found the love of her life and now has a family with him. I know this is difficult to hear, but she is not interested in you. That's probably why she deleted you on facebook. Either that, or she did it out of respect for her husband.
Its time for you to move on. Good luck!
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A
female
reader, pixiegirls +, writes (28 November 2010):
 It sounds like when the communication stopped, whether you officially broke up or not…you broke up. With two people not truly agreeing upon what they want in a future, can be an obstacle that is not easily accepted. You both went your own way and neither made an attempt to reconcile. This doesn’t mean neither of you ever cared, but maybe made you both realized that the relationship might not work.
As far as the dreams, it may not be that she wants to talk to you, but that things were basically left unsaid, without closure. You may be seeking some type of closure. Her unfriending you may just be that you are past really needing to discuss anything since she is now married, with a new child and a new life, and you have also moved forward. Relationships that end when no one has specifically ended the relationship may always nag at you wondering “why”.
I would not push trying to find the answer. It seems that you both had different ideas about what you wanted, and without any compromise, moving on is logical. Be grateful for the time together, and that things didn’t end on a sour note, but that she moved on to find what she truly wanted, allowing you to do the same.
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