A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:This is going to be a long and complicated explanation...and I'm not even sure what kind of answer I'm looking for, but at least I'm getting this off my chest. But my main question is, am I obsessed with this girl? Yes, right now I'm a little confused.So I met her about a year ago during one of my photography club's events. She was my friend's friend; basically my friend 'dragged' her there. Back then, I thought she was pretty cute. I tend to be a fairly reserved person, even more so with girls (although much better now). That's not to say I'm extremely shy around them; it's just I hadn't really bothered trying to strike up a friendship or anything with them up until the past two years.Back to this girl...so I met her once, and never really gave any thought to her ever again. End of story, right? Nope. This year she ended up being part of the executive team for the photography club, so we ended up having to work together on a few projects, especially for the past month or two. I got to know her a little better, and eventually, as how crushes go, I started to think about her more and more often.Whenever we're alone, I start to get nervous. With other girls, both friends and acquaintances, I pretty much have no problem talking to them. But with her, I become pretty mindful of myself, over analyzing what I might say, trying to figure out what I should say. In other words, I (at least to me) have trouble talking to her when we're alone. Heck, this is even the case when we're just chatting online, but I just tell myself to be myself and don't worry about the consequences. After all, if I don't try, then I'll never know what could've happened. But still, it's quite frustrating.For the past few weeks, it's been fun. A couple weeks back, a small group of us (me, her, and a couple other friends) went karaoking, and had a blast. Whenever we're having fun or just laughing together/at each other, any nervousness is gone, and we just have an awesome time together. And just this past weekend, my club held an awesome dinner/Secret Santa gathering. Aside from getting the gift for my draw and cards for everyone, I decided to get her and another friend surprise presents; they both have the same birthday - a few days away from Christmas! We've also worked together, gone through a lot together, so I figured mind as well show some form of appreciation. In the end, I nearly didn't give them their presents thanks to my hesitation and lack of planning; luckily (and I thank God for this), a series of events lead to me being able to, yes, surprise both of them quite a lot with my presents. I still can't forget her smile, and the way how she was completely speechless - she'd been surprised a couple of times that day already. And of course, she gave me a hug xDAhh yes, and another thing. Turns out she also had a LiveJournal account, so we added each other as friends there. I read over her journal entries, and found that many of her values (love, friendship, family...lol sounds a little corny) were quite similar to mine. We regularly comment on each others' entries and I try to chat with her online...but I've already mentioned the fact that I get nervous whenever talking to her alone, which makes it a little difficult to keep a conversation going. Still, there were times that I’ve managed to get a pretty nice conversation going.So what does this all boil down to? Well, I know that we can, and do have tonnes of fun together, once the fun gets going xD. I know that crushes/lust is pretty much chemical, so before declaring that I'm actually in love with her, I decided to tread carefully and am trying to get to know her better. I know that much of what she values in her friends/relationships is what I value too. I'm really happy whenever she's happy. I gave her a gift (one that I've given a bit of thought to) and she accepted it in a way much better than I expected. I get nervous when I talk to her alone, usually when we randomly bump into each other, or during periods of time when we're alone (*cough awkward silent *cough*). And of course, it's quite hard for me to get her off my mind - I check her blog regularly and her Facebook profile too.So...is this a sign of me being obsessed with her? And what else do you all think of this?Thanks!
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christmas, crush, facebook, period, shy Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (4 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionSo I found out that my crush has a crush...not surprising, but it does somewhat demoralize me a bit. They know each other and at least talk to each other online. My crush's crush had admitted to liking my crush as well, but they're not going out. I recently got to know him, and we got along quite well. We all go to the same university.
Uh yeah. I'm confused in what I should be doing now...this is kinda driving me nuts.
A
female
reader, blawndie  +, writes (18 December 2008):
 Aw that sounds really, really cute. I think you should continue to do what you're doing. I think you should try to maybe ask her out if you think you like her, especially since she's on your mind a lot. You seem like a really nice and sweet guy, and I wouldn't really call you obsessed! People are curious about other people, it's normal to check her facebook or a blog, I don't see there being anything wrong with that. I just think you should calm down a little and don't hold back as much as you said you have trouble talking to her and always watch what you say. You should ask her out or something, either as a group thing or one on one. Group "dates" seem to have a little less pressure. Maybe if your friends are hanging out one night, you should invite her to join, that way, she'll spend most of her time with you because she won't know anyone and you guys can have a nice fun interaction with your friends, where you'd probably feel a lot more comfortable.
Good luck! Go for it! =)
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