A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Has anyone really had dreams about there ex's? We broke up over a year and a half ago, I still have dreams about her. These dreams are not sexual in any way just friendly dreams where we are just doing something together or things which we use to do together when we were together as a couple. Now usually it wouldn't bother me that much, well at first it usually didn't bother me. But now that it has gone on for so long, I just wake up after having the dream, missing her. Am I obsessed with her because I dream of her? Or is this usually what happens when someone breaks up with you? Please help.Also whats the difference between loving someone and being obsessed with them?
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male
reader, LovelessAct1 +, writes (22 November 2010):
I wouldn't say its an obsession by any means. You simply miss her its safe to say.However it'd be best for you to try and get over this. If its been over for this long, try and get out and meet more people. Eventually you'll find a new woman to captivate your attention and your dreams :) Good luck.
A
female
reader, Simply Jane2011  +, writes (22 November 2010):
 Wel, Dreams are very hard to understand, after all dreams are basicly things that are just at the back of your mind,or it could be a sign to move on, I have dreams about my ex (been seperated for 8 months). What i can possibly suggest is that you need closure, or accept it and find something that you like to take your time up, the less you think about her the better. 2. the difference between Love and Obsession, There is a huge difference between the two. Obsession is basicly something that isnt good, you constantly think about them, you constantly want to know what they are doing, whats new with them, calling all the time, wanting to be with them. Love on the other hand is something completley diferent. You enjoy the time that you have with the, its a feeling, something that exsists between two human beings, there are two types of love, one is the love you have for your fsmily and love your partner,this love is the hardest to find, but when you get it it is something completley amazing
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2010): I dont think your obsessed with her i think its normal, I think a lot people dream of there ex's its because there on your mind- what there doing, who there with, or the times you had, its normal. You can dream about a bestfriend you had but havent talked to in years it doesnt mean your obsessed with them it just means you miss them.If however, you want her back then you should just do everything you can to do so and if it still doesnt work you know you did EVERYTHING you possibly could. But some people arent worth your energy, you have to decide if she has wronged you enough to say to yourself: you'll always love her and thats that, theres no changing that you love her you just have to move forward theres many people you will love in life you just dont know it yet cause your heart might be closed to finding someone new in which case you cant. When you stop trying, it will happen and will be better than you expected.Obsession is when you absolutely have "tunnel vision" when you cant see the wrongs in another person you can only see the rights which is unrealistic because they are not perfect. Compulsive behavior like checking there facebook myspace or anything else to see "what there up to" as an excuse. Accusing them of things they havent done, being depressed, drinking, smoking, or drugs to mask the pain, thats when your obsessed and its very dangerous. If your doing any of these things your probably obsessed but if your just dreaming of her- thats fine and normal; your not obsessed. When you love someone you simply live in the comfort of knowing that you love, and they do too most likely but life goes on-if your meant to be you will be. You have to move on from them.
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