A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 19 year old female. I live in an area where there is a lot of prostitution. I have always fantasized myself being a working girl so I like to dress the part and walk around the streets to see how many men proposition me. When they do I just tell them that I am not a working girl and they move on although I must admit I have been tempted to take them up on their offer. I do not know why I enjoy doing this but it is a big turn on for me. A few nights ago this really cute guy offered me a lot of money for oral sex. I told him that I am not a working girl. He said I am sorry for the mistake and asked if I would like to have coffee with him. We sat talking in the coffee shop for around an hour when he offered to drive me home. A few blocks from my apartment I asked him to pull over and park. I started to make out with him and ended up giving him head.(no money involved) When we were done he drove me to my apartment. After I got out of the car I asked him why he would want to spend that much money on a BJ. He told me that it was worth it for him that's all. He said he had to go and reached out of the window to shake my hand goodbye. In doing so he put money in my hand and said thanks for a great time and drove off. Even though I did not ask for any money and refused his offer does this mean I am now a prostitute?
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female
reader, Abella +, writes (22 March 2011):
 definitely you are NOT a prostitute.You enjoy men being attracted to you, which happens to girls when they realise how physically attractive they are.You had no intention of earning money that night. You told the guy you were not a working girl. And he very nicely took you for coffee. Consider you were very lucky this time. Because it could have turned out not as nice.Some men would be much rougher and nastier.And you will eventually meet a man who you have said no to once who approaches you a second time and wants to call you a 'tease'. Such situations could get ugly very quickly. Are there other ways you could redirect your energy elsewhere? To safer activities?Is the attraction to this work because you already have friends or relatives doing this work? Is it because you want to be accepted by them?There are some really nice men in the world who would never go to a prostitute. But if you become a prostitute you may be limiting your choices in other ways for the rest of your life. Is it worth that sacrifice? Continuing these activities means you also run the risk of a man hurting you physically. Hurting your face or your body in anger at being refused. And ruining you psychologically.You also run the risk of contracting a whole range of sexually transmitted diseases. The most horrible being AIDS.If you know anyone dying of AIDS you will know how debilitating that disease is.But you are putting yourself into risky situations. You may even be glamorizing it. but it is work that is not seen like that by the majority of the people, especially women. it can be degrading and demoralizing work. There are far more rewarding and far more interesting jobs than prostitution.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Yeah, you hooked and got paid, that's what it takes, you didn't have to keep the money.
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A
female
reader, iloveblue  +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Are you concerned about belonging to this profession because of what happened or concerned about what this guy must think now?
The first important thing is what you think of yourself, if you think you did not ask money and that you did not make out with this guy for money, then that does not make you a hooker. You believe you are not one because of the lack of intention, then you are not one and which is correct.
But then if you ask about the other person, we don't know exactly what he has in mind now. It's his opinion anyway. Yet I am afraid, on his part..he knew he handed you money and drove away, would still mean that you are a hooker.
He might even say to himself "good strategy from this gal to say she's not a hooker but then did not refuse the money. She is indeed a hooker in the end." But who cares about his opinion?
At the end, the only thing that matters is what you know who you really are.
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A
male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (21 March 2011):
No, you are not a prostitute because you didn't do it for the money, you did it because you wanted to, and you weren't expecting any money. He ended up giving you money anyway but that was just a gesture on his part. Deciding on whether or not to become a prostitute is a complex decision and not one that you should take lightly. Generally society has an issue with prostitution because it is a way in which women are opressed sexually, emotionally, physically in many cases, and financially, by men. Traditionally, not in all cases, but typically, its an opression of women by men. There are also health issues such as sexual health, unwanted pregnancy, physical and sexual abuse which is at a higher risk in these circumstances, and high exposure to unsafe environments and behaviours, such as drug abuse. Having said that, sex can be looked at as always being transactional, in other words, there can be a fine line between sex for money, women who go out with the intention of finding a guy to buy them lots of drinks for an evening in exchange for sex, and even a lifetime of sex in exchange for financial security. Relationships are not just about sex, and I think the best relationships have a lot of depth to them that goes far beyond sex, but the sexual aspect of a relationship often has elements of power and subtle manipulation. I suspect you probably find it a turn on because being the object of desire and having men willing to pay money for you gives you a sense of power, power over them. You call the shots, perhaps in a way that you are not able to in the rest of your life. However, know that exploring this path is a risk, as much to your sense of self worth and self esteem as anything else. There are other ways to become a powerful human being and have plenty of turn ons and sexual stimulation without having to put yourself at such high risk. That is my opinion, but you might feel differently, you just need to decide what is right for you.Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): Why are you so fascinated with prostitutes?
To me it seems like you are flirting with the role?
You imitate them in dress and essentially impersonate them, but then deny the people who mistake you for a prostitute?
You don't sound like a prostitute, but you sound really conflicted. I suppose there's nothing wrong with flirting with role playing, but it really upsets me to hear your story because it's so dangerous.
Seriously...the customers you flirt with are the least of your worries...What will you do when some john starts threatening you? You'll claim you're not a prostitute? Do you think he'll chose to believe you?
What you are doing is incredibly dangerous and not as glamorous as you think.
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A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (21 March 2011):
 Well, technically it's not a 'vocation' unless it's a regular activity, so - no, a single incident would not make you, be definition a hooker.
That said, you seem to be treading down that path, you know...you may want to think about the choices you are making and the risks you are running. When you put yourself out there, as it were, and then turn down the men who do proposition you, you are exposing yourself to the risk of someone turning violent.
Do be careful.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 March 2011): You are not a hooker yet but if you continue on this dangerous adventure, you will likely find yourself becoming one..Why do you seek the attention of strange men in suc a destructive way...While you may just want to see what happens , you are putting yourself in danger by hanging out in these kind of spots....What if some pervert harms you, kidnaps you, rapes you or worse...You hera a lot of stories in the news about serial killers kinapping and killing prostitutes...While you may have been lucky on this occasion that the strange man you got into his car with was not a serial killer, you may not be so lucky on an unfortunate occasion...Plus you gave him a total stranger a BJ? What of he has some nasty disease or is HIV positive?...People that use prostitutes put themselves at great risk...In this day an age please do not think it is glamorous to be a prostitute..It is not...It destroys your very soul..Forget the 'secret dairies of a call girl' shown on telly...In reality it aint so....Seek some help or talk to someone so you can find the root of this unheathy desire...Dont ever go out on the streets again even out of pretence.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (21 March 2011):
 It's really up to you whether you're a prostitute or not. If you care to go out again and are open to taking money for sexual acts, then yes you're by definition a prostitue. If this one-off is the last time it ever happens, then no. But I have to say that the title isn't really relevant. You put yourself out there and ended up taking money for a sexual act. If you're worried about being thought of as a hooker, then why be there in the first place?
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