A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been single now for about six months after a pretty bad break-up with a guy who was emotionally abusive. Well, the other day, I was getting into the mood and about to hook-up with a guy I've known for a couple years now. We also only really started talking about three months ago on Facebook.Anyhow, he knows I really like Pink Floyd, so he put on Comfortably Numb to try and get me turned on. I appreciated it, but it had the complete opposite effect on me. I was immediately reminded of my ex because he's the one who got me into Pink Floyd and Comfortably Numb was one of our sex songs.So, I started crying. Not bawling my eyes out, just, 'Turn this song off right now!' kind of crying. At first, the guy I was 'with' was extremely confused and went all gentle and asked me what was wrong. I told him and he said, "Oh my god! I'm really sorry! God, I'm an idiot!' I told him it wasn't his fault and that I was to blame because I didn't warm him.Well, all in all, the mood and the night was ruined. All because of me and my fucking crying. I just really want to know: Am I not over my ex, yet? I do, admittedly, still think about him and wonder how he's doing, but I know I don't love him anymore. What do I have to do get him out of my head!?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 June 2009):
Well unfortunately you are never going to be able to wipe him from your mind completely. I still have things that remind me of my ex and we split up years and years ago.
What you can do it not let it get to you so much. I don't think you have quite allowed yourself to let go of the pain because you are still angry with him for being mean and yourself for putting up with it for so long.
So first off you need to forgive yourself. You made a mistake due to inexperience with this kind of relationship. BUT you have to look at the positive. You know now that any guy who EVER speaks to you the way he did will never EVER upset you again because the first time they act like that you are going to see him for what he is. You are going to laugh in his face and walk away and never speak to him again.
Then for the ex. Don't forgive him, he doesn't deserve that. BUT just laugh at him. Laugh at the fact that he's so pathetic that he can't keep a woman just by being himself, he has to try and beat her down like a puppy. He's NEVER going to have a relationship with a woman who loves him because sooner or later they will all leave.
Life will come round and bite him on the arse one day.
After you accept that then you can realise that it's not your job to by angry and want "justice" it will be taken care of. Then you can stop being upset and angry.
Yes, songs will always remind you of that time in your life, but don't let them remind you of the break up. Let them remind you of the few good times you had and the lessons you learned.
Till then, just put on some songs that have only just come out with your new guy. He sounds nice!
Good Luck!! xx
A
female
reader, Dark_Storm +, writes (5 June 2009):
 time is the only thing that will get him out of your head sweetie and as hard as it is you have to try and move on not only in life but in relationships as well.
it sounds to me that the guy you where seing cares alot about you and tho even though the mood was supposingly spoiled is genrally intrested in giving things a proper go between you guys.
take things slowly, remember your always in charge of your own dessissions and eventully you will start feeling less and less about your ex. however its a waiting game sadly.
if you need to chat more give me a buzz
love always xxx
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