A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I have been in a relationship for seven years. We are high school sweethearts and have been on and off a couple of times during high school. Four months ago, we started to have sex. I was incredibly scared of sex - even had a phobia of it for a very long time. It angered my boyfriend and was the reason for the breaks in between. I understand why he would break up with me - I would constantly push him away by denying sex and neglecting his needs.We've only done one position so far and that's me on top, and to be honest, I'm scared of doing it missionary or trying other positions. I've been thinking of reasons why - and I would always remember my boyfriend freaking out when he failed during our first attempts three months into the relationship. I never felt loved at that time and I hated him to see so worked up. He also slept with some one else during one of the breaks. Could it be that I'm not over these events? Or am I just inexperienced and need to be comfortable first?My boyfriend really wants to try other positions very soon and has a higher sex drive than I do. He seems to be a bit upset that we haven't tried new positions yet but still loves me and is proposing to me during the summer. I've been trying to go to gym more often to better my drive and increase my self-image. I like having sex at least once or twice a day and refuse to become a prude wife.I'm not sure what's wrong with me as trying new positions should be a natural progression. Could anyone provide me with suggestions?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 April 2012):
 I think it is just natural. You are only new to this so it is going to take you some time to become comfortable with new positions. You on top gives you the control and I guess you are scared of other ways as you will not have control over it if he is on top. You need to be comfortable with it before it happens so just take things slowly. Maybe try it out for a minute at a time and ask him to go slow and see how you feel. It will take time but it will happen naturally.
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