A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:well, i saw this girl for the first time in the mall. shes 16 and i'm 17 years old. then i made eye contact with her. the next day, on a tuesday i saw her in the train so we talked and i got her phone number. then we started texting each other. on friday we had a date and it went really well in fact we were holding hands and we almost kissed then we planed our next date a week later. The whole weekend weekend after that went really bad when i called her she was with her family she couldn't pick up the phone she said, then later on i called again this time she was on her way to her friends house, then she told me she would call me back but she didn't, then i sms her, then she said i can call her tomorrow thats on a sunday when i called her we spoke for 4 minutes then she said shes got to go shes really studying for het exam the next day that she will see me tomorrow. so i hung up and i was really happy. monday she wrote to me that she was spending time with her friends that she can't see me, she told me i shouldn't be mad we can see each other tomorrow, then i said okay, the next day she told me shes tired shes gone home thats shes really sorry, she told me to call in the evening but i didn't because i was mad and dissapointed with her. my friends say that i'm taking this relationship to fast that we've known each other for just a week now, and that i sms her a lot maybe thats why she got tired of me and has started avoiding me. our date is on a saturday, i've bought tickets already to the movies, but i don't know if she would still go. what should i do?
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female
reader, adamantine  +, writes (25 May 2011):
 Woaaaah. Slow down man. It's the beginning of the relationship, and you're fussing over her like crazy. She's obviously making up excuses not to see you because you're being so clingy. Just relax. Don't call her for a bit... and then when you talk to her, just call her and see how she is going. Ask her about her day and how she's feeling. Don't be so pushy that you wanna see her all the time. Girl's don't want a clingy guy. They want a guy who is independant and knows what he wants. They want a guy to take the lead, but to assert confidence. By calling her all the time, it's making you look desperate.I'm sorry to put it this way but that's what it seems like.. I dated a guy for a short while like this, but I had to break it off because he was too clingy and moving too fast for me. I felt like I was the one wearing the pants in the relationship, and that wasn't what I wanted at all! I wanted someone who was confident and knew what they were doing. I wanted him to charm me but also be a little mysterious.. but nope.
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