A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:this is an update and question in one. i wrote once how my boyfriend and i have been together for almost two years and i only see him once during the week and on the weekends. he doesn't feel the need to see me more. i got brave and asked him to come and see me on a night he usually doesn't and stays home with his parents. he's not a kid and also unemployed(lost his job and hasn't found another one for almost a year). anyway, he did but left me with the impression that i wouldn't see him again until the weekend. i guess i'm still having a hard time understanding this. also i told him that i wanted to see him more often. he said that "someday i would see him everyday" and that "i would get tired of seeing him". what am i suppose to think of these actions and comments? am i more committed to our relationship and less important to him than i think i am? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 November 2009): there are many view to this problem.. i'll list down the different views and then i'll answer your question.
1. Maybe you are scarying him: you see some people takes relation slow, they like to follow their own pace in life, when u start to move so fast, maybe too fast for them, they tend back away.. and even pushes u out of their lives..
- solution: y not u take a step back, n slow down ur pace, try and understand him a lil more...
2. Maybe its just you being phobia about losing him.. being too obsessed leads to phobia: Sometimes you don't realize that u are being too demanding & obsessed about your boyfriend or relationship.. You may think that he is giving a nonchalant attitude but sometimes the fact is that you are simply being paranoid.. Its a common diagnose for women.. Its proven that women tend to take and think about things more severely and serious.. so they are more paranoid.. (guys to avoid women to be paranoid, maybe you should gain their trust 1st)
- solution: you need to get a hold of yourself... look around, ask around about what they think of your behaviour, ask people that will give u an honest answer then you'll now whether u are being paranoid or not.. If u are: try goin for a week holiday, or maybe just stay away frm your boyfriend a short period of time and during that time you recomposed youself, by doing the following activity: list out the pro n con of ur attitude towards ur guy, do not contact him, state down the important reason u find for the relationship to continue and which attitude of yours towards him will cause your relationship to end and last but not least list down how impt he is in your life... by the end the retreat, u maybe able to see the changes and view in yourself..
3. It could also mean that he, no longer has any feelings for you or he is in a confusion mode.. meaning: he may still loves you but he likes some1 else so much or he no longer loves you and he cant bring himself to end the relationship..
-solutions: You have to talk with him, telling him that you are prepared to hear the worst frm him, you just want him to give you a confirmation about what is the status of the relationship.. And you have to hold yourself together and be strong to face it.. If you dont, the relationship is only filled with pity and guilt but not love and concern.. which will lead to more unhappiness between the two of you..
This is the 3 solutions i can give... i cant really tell you which 1 to pick and do caused i dont really know in detail what is going on.. so u decide yourself which is most likely the scenario...
Best of luck:
MammaDex
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