A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I have a husband for over 9 years and he was a drinker before and I knew he smokes weed, I told him to stop doing it and he did but he smokes when I am not around. He drinks and he finds reasons for little things he is mad if we gotta go to the store and just gives me his credit card or money for me to go and do the shopping and he goes out and drinks he said he goes to a bar to shoot pool until 2 or 3 am. If he can, he will do it whenever his friends call him..... we don't have kids but I do love and care about him but I think is time for me to go I am giving up ... he never wanted kids and I still want a baby I waited so many years and he said he was like that when I met him.I am very tired of always waiting and crying and see no changes.... he says he loves me but love don't hurt.Am I making the right decision?
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male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (11 January 2009):
 I also agree with RCN, you can't change what he already is only he can do that.
If you want a baby, I'm sorry to say but you must know your chances are becoming slimmer as time goes on. If you want to try go for it, but if you did have a child even if you adopted one now do you think this is a good environment to bring a child up in?
I think you have a bit if thinking to do. And what exactly is the decision you are making?
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (11 January 2009):
 You're suppose to pick a partner based on what you are looking for, not for who you can mold them into. He is who he is, and if he decides to change it has to be based on his desire to improve, than to do so for a relationship.
Why did you get married, when you knew he takes part in things you don't appreciate? Moving on is your decision, but it sounds like he's already made up his mind on weather or not he's going to change.
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